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dear diary,

Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:48 pm

9-9-2005 12:57 pm

Dear diary,

It is me again, I been thinking and some things run through my head when i am listening to christian music, there is more to me than my disabilities. I am a very special person, and i love to help others,giving to others. I think it makes me feel good to give others that lose everything because of the katrina hurricane that the people that lost evrything and they have nothing and they are homeless, i am been thinking about donating 45 packs of 24 count crayons that are brand name crayola. plus some glue bottles for them and that will make a difference. I think it is nice to help others in need, we should be loving towards others.
9-16-2005 4:54 pm

Dear Diary,

My sister told me that she is going to watch the home video's and see how i was at that time when i was younger and she said that i act stupid and she said it is all a act and i said i don't act stupid and i do not act stupid and i think that is so wrong for my sister to say that to me.

9-17-2005 3:40 pm

Dear Diary,

Today i went to the parade and i got to sit in the back of the truck and throw candy out and tshirts also , it was so much fun being in the parade and i had alot of fun there and i am at home right now and been so mad because i want to go to the fall festival and i will do anything to get to go and i don't know if i get to go today and i want to have some fun playing games and riding rides and seeing my friends and enjoying myself there but i don't know if anyone will take me and i feel like maybe i am dreaming because i don't get to go places that much and it makes me so frustrated and upset because i have no transportation that will take me and i feel it is no fun depending on others and i will do anything to go to the fall festival and i don't know how to drive and it makes me so upset at times,everybody is at our house and it is my sister's birthday but i feel so what i would like to have some fun and i hate living at home because i have no body to get me places and i have transportation that is so worthless to depend on and i rather learn the bus routes and learn what bus to get on and what to do and but my mom will not let me ride the bus, i feel she just wants me to be dependent for the rest of my life and i think it is not right and i feel she doesn't understand me and i want to be able to do things on my own and but my mom won't let me. I am still going to move out but don't know when and i want my mom to see that she needs to let me go and let me get on with my life and everything.
9-17-2005 7:24 pm

Dear Diary,

I went to the fall festival and it was alot of fun and i got on the gravatron and i didn't scream at all and when i got scared and i would close my eyes and it helped me, i ate a corn dog and it was very good,and i seen people from my church and i talked to them and i played this one shot gun game and you are suppose to shot the target star out but it was hard and the gun was very heavy, and i didn't win anything, and then i played this other game that has a ball that you throw to get on a color and whatever color it lands on and you can get something, and i got a bow and arrow, and i bought a tshirt and it is very cool and i payed $10.00 for it and shot gun game was $2.00, and the ball game was i think $2.00 and the gravalatron took 4 tickets.

12:50 pm 9-18-2005

Dear Diary,

Today church went good. I was talking to someone and i had a cup of orange juice and i accidently spilled some on my shirt and i told someone that i am wearing my orange juice, i was joking around about that, and in the morning service my hearing aid beeped and so i waited until we were going to sit down so i can change my hearing aid battery and i did change it and now it is doing good. Now i can hear and i feel good about myself that i can hear. I took notes and it is not comfortable writing with my pencil or anything, it does not make a difference what i do, it is irritating to hold a pencil or anything in my hand to write with.
Last edited by carebear15 on Mon Nov 21, 2005 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:50 pm

*Virtual hugs*
I'm sure your mum isn't deliberately trying to make you dependant. I think she just wants to protect you.

Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:00 pm

I agree with 1337- Im sure that your mum is just worried about you and wants you to be safe. Its natrual for parents to do this as it is normal for youto feel smothered! I hope things get better for you soon and Im glad to hear that you had fun at the fair! :D

dear diary,

Tue Sep 20, 2005 10:24 pm

11:19 am 9-20-2005

Dear Diary,

i am going to be going to lunch with my job coach at 11:30 am so i hope it goes good, but lets see how it goes and i will be going to pizza place and i am suppose to go there not for the food but for to check the place out and see if that is something i want to do, work there yes or no, but i will just see.

1:07 pm 9-20-2005

Dear Diary,

i just got back from the pizza place and my job coach was hoping the manager of the pizza place was there but , was not there, the food was okay and i didn't mind eatting there and when i was walking with my cup of water and my plate of food that was both on my tray and i was walking slowly so i don't spill it and i didn't spill it but my job coach was watching me walk to the table, and couldn't she just not watch me walk to the table, that is nervousing because i don't want someone watching me carrying my tray to my table.on. she said that she was waiting for me to spill my drink or something but i didn't.
she said that is good. my job coach said that if i try and my motor skills would get better and said my dexterity would get better if i try, i am doing the best i can and she doesn't understand.

Wed Sep 21, 2005 7:43 am

Have you had occupational therapy or physiotherapy? They could both help your motor skills and dexterity improve greatly.

Wed Sep 21, 2005 10:26 am

i had physical and occupational therphy in elementay for grade 2-4 and that is all, and then i moved to another school so i never had one ever again. i was taught how to tie my shoes when i was in 2nd grade and how to do all rhe different things i needed to know to, yesterday i was walking and missed a step and almost fell.

Wed Sep 21, 2005 11:38 am

Yopu should see if you can get it again. The downside is that they may say you have to pay for it. If you can afford it at all, it's worth it.

Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:37 pm

i will have to see , and see how much it costs for a occupational therapist
and physical therapist, i really would like to write without being irratated and stressed out , and to be able to be comfortable with writing with a pencil. i was taught how to write and how to grip a pencil and write with a pencil when i was in 2nd grade and was in therapy through 4th grade.

in high school , i was talking about how i wanted a therapist and was told it is not on my iep so i can't have a therapist, but i can get a therapist if i get one myself. school had a goal for me to be short-handed, and write smaller and write faster and speed is faster but never happened and it is tough and kids in school was embarrassed of my hand writting because i wrote like a 1st grader, teacher told me that a blind person can read that, it is true and if you see my hand writting and you would know that i write good and you can read what i write very easy, and i have to make my letters look perfect.

Fri Sep 23, 2005 1:15 am

when i read what i write and it is surprising and i really express myself at times and that is good, and if i keep a diary and keep it up to date and it can help me, and i can help others too.

one thing i will say is don't give up because i learn if i give up and i will not get anywhere in life and i will not succed. i am a individual that when i take a plant idea test or any other test , i have to get everything right and by the way in 11th and 12th grade years i took horticulture at my vocational school and i was in the afternoon class.

hand shaking

Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:12 pm

12:06 pm 10-3-2005

Dear Diary,

My mom said that i need to cut down on my medicnes and she seen my hand shaking when i was holding a piece of paper and i said it is not my medicine, it is the dyspraxia that causes this and i told her that is why my hands shake, and i can't help it and i told her that there is no medicine to stop this and so it is not my medicine doing this to me. my mom was pointing it out, i was thinking that it didn't bother me that my hand was shaking and i try not to pay attention to what my hands do.

Wed Oct 05, 2005 2:10 pm

3:52 pm 10-4-2005

Dear diary,

i went to the dentist and they said i just need a root canal and i will be having that on monday and i just had a dentist exam by the dentist. it went well. i am going to be having a root canal on monday and i have to have everything done before my 21st birthday.

Wed Oct 05, 2005 4:30 pm

fuzzy wrote:I agree with 1337- Im sure that your mum is just worried about you and wants you to be safe. Its natrual for parents to do this as it is normal for youto feel smothered! I hope things get better for you soon and Im glad to hear that you had fun at the fair! :D

I agree. I am also glad you had fun at the fall fair!! :D 8) I love going to those kinds of things. We have a summer one in our town called Prariefest. 8) I hope things go well with your root canal and I wish you a happy birthday!! Congrats on becoming legal soon!

Sun Oct 09, 2005 6:24 pm

1:19 pm 10-9-2005

Dear Diary,

today i had to clean up after my cat angel , who got in the trash bag, and made holes in the bag.
i was trying to help my nieces by getting everything off the coffee table and i didn't know their was a ash tray and it spilled on the floor and got alittle on my shoe and that made me sick that happened and so i took the sweeper and sweeped it all up.
then i decided to go outside and wait for my ride , i had enough of making messes and spilling things. i wanted to be away from everything so i don't spill anything else. i was talking in my sunday school class and i said how my cat angel is very destructive and the one that is teaching my class said you can have your cat put asleep and i said no that is wrong and the teacher is a guy and so the teacher and this other person that is around my age said we can have your cat stuff and you can hang it on the wall, i said no, that is so mean and i hatred that what they said and i took a bible off the table and hit the boy in the head. this is a college class by the way to let let you know.

Sun Oct 09, 2005 6:43 pm

Carebear, it is possible that the people in your Bible class were making a joke. It was an unkind joke. It was not funny. But I don't think they meant that you should really stuff your cat. You must try to be very calm when things like this happen. As you are a Christian, you should try to think of what Jesus would want you to do. (But even He trashed the temple once, so you are allowed an occasional slip!)

Thank you once again for sharing your diaries. They are very helpful to me.

Mon Oct 10, 2005 6:13 pm

10-10-2005 9:22 am

Dear Diary,

i am going to be going to the dentist today at 10:00 am and i hope it all goes well and i am going to have a root canal done and i think i am going to have my eyes close so i do not see what they are doing and i will be more calm.
1:01 pm 10-10-2005

Dear Diary,

the dentist appointment went well and they gave me shots in my mouth and that hurt and they did the root canal and i kept my eyes closed and i had to show the person i have a hearing aid so they do not get it wet and be careful and my mom said i should not have wore the hearing aid and i was given a prescription for codine and it is a kind of tynedol and my mouth is still numb and i got that over with and now i have cavities to get done next time and teeth cleaning. my tooth looks better now. i was told that i will be in pain from this but i am not right now, i feel okay.

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