Difficulty Finding Help In Mk For Dyspraxic Child

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

Postby Guest_Cheryl » Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:28 pm

Can somebody please help us?

We live in MK and for the last few years my son has had constant problems at school -he has all the symptons of dyspraxia but the school seems reluctant to believe that he may have this disability. Nobody there seems to know much about the condition and we feel that we have just been humoured when we have tried to broach the subject.

Our son has been bullied and alienated at school, especially over the past 2 years, and his self esteem is non-existant. Last year in particular his teacher had no time for him at all and when told he was being bullied said he brought it on himself. She also couldnt cope with his difficulties in the classroom and labelled him lazy and disruptive.

We have approached our GP who wrote to the school and asked for him to be assessed for dyspraxia by the educational psych. He said there were not really any other routes that we could take in MK.
The school have said that it will take a long time to get the ed. psych. to assess our son and instead has recommended he is assessed by the LEA special needs person.

We feel that the school has let our son down socially and educationally and that they are not taking his difficulties seriously.
Are there any help or support groups around for us to get advice?
We found your website purely by accident.......... I was searching for the SHED MK website in google and found Matts hideout!
We are so impressed by all the work Matt has put into his website and at the amazing maturity he shows about his dyspraxia. He has a wonderful outlook on life and he has helped Jonny understand that he isnt alone!

Jonny will be starting Shed MK tomorrow evening -we hope that he will benefit from being with people who will appreciate him for who he is.

We loved Matt's website and have put it on our "favourites" list on the pc! The pamphlet is wonderful and I have printed some off to take to Jonny's school!!!!!!
Guest_Cheryl
 

Postby Guest_Helen » Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:28 pm

Hello Cheryl,
Welcome to Matts Hideout message forum.
I am pleased you have found us. I can relate to your story so well as three years ago we were faced with the same situation...... teachers who could not or would not understand.
If the school are being so obstructive regarding having Jonny assessed then it may be worth taking a different route. Our Gp referred us to MK hospital paediatric department where Matt was finally diagnosed. Then we went through assessments with the occuaptional therapy and physio departments. I would urge you to return to you GP and ask for a referral and not leave it in the hands of the LEA....they seem to have no understanding of Dyspraxia in MK at all. A point to note though, even with a diagnosis and copies of assessment reports, Matt's school still refused to acknowledge the problem, which is why we now home educate. I really do hope that for you things are different. We have recently distributed leaflets to all MK primary schools with a covering letter, in an attempt to raise awareness, so Jonny's school should have received one, in February. Perhaps the ones you have printed of will give them a little reminder!!!
I hope Jonny enjoys Shed MK. Matt has found it to be a wonderful experience, being part of such a brilliant group. He has positively blossomed and his self esteem has been boosted greatly. All those involved are friendly, understanding people and they accept everyone for who they are...no one is judged or ridiculed Perhaps we shall meet some time and will have the opportunity to 'compare notes' on the disgraceful behaviour of our local schools. The Dyspraxia Foundation has no local group in this area.....I was looking into getting one started and have all the appropriate details re: becoming a local co-ordinator, however they have us lumped with the whole of Bucks, with most members being in South Bucks. My feeling is that geographically, a MK and Northamptonshire local group would be a more useful way to go. The Dyspraxia Foundation has its place, but unfortunately in the past they have not been overly supportive when Matt or I have contacted them, most recently they have completely ignored our correspondence with regard to our leaflet. I think if the need for a local support group is there it may be better if it were independent of the foundation, although I am unsure how to get things started. We have been on BBC local radio many times and yet so few families affected by dyspraxia seem to be interested in anything we are trying to do, which makes things quite difficult!!!!
Cheryl please know you are not alone....if you need someone to talk to or just to listen then either post here, private message me, or e-mail me from this site.
Take care,
Helen
Guest_Helen
 

Postby Guest_Cheryl » Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:28 pm

Helen

Thanks so much for your reply - it is so good to know we are not alone!
Jonny and I are looking forward to seeing Matt tonight at Shed - perhaps we will see you too!! It will be a relief for Jonny to find people who will accept him - he has come back from school (both yesterday and today) in tears - was bullied yesterday and slapped today!!!!

I think a support group for Mk and Northants is a great idea -if I can support you in any way just let me know!

I will make another appointment with our GP and ask him about the paediatrician route - thanks for that advice!



Hope to meet you soon

all best wishes


Cheryl xo
Guest_Cheryl
 

Postby Charlotte » Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:29 pm

Oops, sorry pushed the wrong button!!! (Typical me!!!)

Anyway, I am a 16 year old girl with mild dyspraxia and I felt I had to write something after reading what you said about your son.

I suffered similar problems to Jonny at Primary School (You don't say whether it's Primary or Senior school he's at) but it still angers me that teachers, who are meant to be fully qualified to teach ALL children, can treat children in this way. I was shocked by her comment that Jonny brings bullying on himself. NO CHILD DESERVES TO BE BULLIEDIF SHE CANNOT COPE WITH CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS, THEN PERHAPS SHE IS IN THE WRONG PROFFESSION.

If it's any comfort to you at all, I turned out fine despite my Primary School's treatment of me; if anything I was stronger and more determined to prove them wrong and make something of my life. I am now at college studying child care as I want to work with children myself.

I hope Jonny has fun tonight at Shed Mk.

Charlotte
x x x
Charlotte
 

Postby Guest_Helen » Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:29 pm

Hello Cheryl,
Glad you and Jonny caught up with Matt this evening. How did Jonny like his first evening at Shed MK?
Sorry to hear he had such a terrible day at school. On BBC1 this week at 12.30pm there has been a programme dedicated to bullying. It is extremely thought provoking and some of the stories that have been told have angered me greatly. The attitude of some schools (in fact probably most!) is awful. They either deny bullying is a problem or, as you describe, blame the victim. A representative from 'Bullycide' spoke and made the point that when an individual is bullied, it is the BULLY who has the problem and NEVER the victim. The victim is innocent....As Charlotte says, no one 'asks' to be bullied or 'enjoys' being bullied, as was sugggested to Matt on many occassions. Bullying is a serious problem and is present in ALL schools. Teachers need to wake up fast because the problem is getting out of control. Besides, bullies in school become bullies in the work place, if their behaviour is never appropriately challenged.
Back to Jonny though, are you keeping a diary of the incidents that are taking place in school? It is always worth noting them down for future reference. I feel for you so much and really wish I had the answer, but all I can suggest is keep on at the school and make them aware of everything that happens to Jonny. You know where we are, so keep in touch. Hopefully I shall see you at Shed next week. :) I hope that Jonny gets some comfort from being with the good people at Shed MK...I know that for Matt it has helped restore his faith in humanity, as there was a time when he believed all people were cruel.
Take care,
Helen X
Guest_Helen
 

Postby Guest_Cheryl » Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:30 pm

Thankyou so much for all your support Helen. It is such a relief to "chat" with someone who knows how we are feeling.

Jonny had a ball at Shed MK tonight - he was absolutely radiant when he got home and high as a kite as well! :rolleyes:

It was great to meet Matt who was waiting for Jonny at the entrance and immediately made himself known to us! Jonny thinks Matt is great - a real hero for him!!! :)
I have been sending the link to Matt's website to all my family here and in Northern Ireland so they can start reading and spreading the word about dyspraxia!

I havent been making a note of all the bullying that Jonny endures at school but I will do now - I have also written a letter informing the school about him being slapped today! I have an old diary where I will jot down the various things that happen!

Would love to meet up with you guys sometime - can arrange something next week at Shed if you like!

speak to you soon Helen and thanks again for all your support

with all best wishes

Cheryl
xo :)
Guest_Cheryl
 

Postby Guest_Cheryl » Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:30 pm

HI Charlotte

Nice to meet you!

Are you the Charlotte who wrote the lovely poem? If it was you we think it is just great - Jonny has it stuck up on his wall beside his bed!
Glad things are looking up for you now! It is good to know that things will get better!

Jonny had great fun tonight at Shed MK and cant wait til next week to get back there

best wishes

Cheryl
xo
Guest_Cheryl
 

Postby Guest_Helen » Sun Apr 25, 2004 10:30 pm

Hello Cheryl,
So pleased that Jonny had a good time...Matt is always on a high when he gets home from Shed MK and needs at least an hour to come down again! Tonight was his first as a youth support worker with the Children's Theatre group and he loved it. He helps with the 7-11 years old and then has his session with the youth theatre, so he gets a good long time at a place he feels he fits in and where he is happy, which is just great.
As well as your diary of incidents, keep a copy of all correspondence sent to the school and make a note of any response or lack of!! Also record the date and outcome of any meetings you have with Jonny's teachers.
Would love to meet up some time, so yes, next week we shall definately try and arrange something.
Hope Jonny has a better day tomorrow.
Thinking of you,
Best wishes,
Helen
Guest_Helen
 

Postby k9ruby » Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:35 pm

NO CHILD DESERVES TO BE BULLIEDIF SHE CANNOT COPE WITH CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS, THEN PERHAPS SHE IS IN THE WRONG PROFFESSION.

Too Right!!!
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Postby Charlotte » Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:52 pm

Hiya,

It's a shame some teaachers aren't sympathetic towards children with special needs when others are truly amazing. As part of my childcare course I have to work at schools etc occasionally and at the last school I went to there was a little girl with severe autism. The teacher in charge was young man-early twenties I'd say and he was great with her. She really loved him. Watching how good a teacher he was made me think higher of teachers in general a little.

Cheryl, yes I am the Charlotte who wrote the poem. I love things like reading and writing poems and writing stories and I'm glad Jonny liked it. I wanted to write something happy. I see my dyspraxia as a talent, not just a disability. I hate the word disability anyway. It's like just because I'm dyspraxic I have no ability. What an insult!
Charlotte
 


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