Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:27 am
parnassus wrote:Charlotte, you are going through the same process that I went through a few years ago. I was fifteen when the possibility of autism was suggested to me. The wife of the boarding housemaster (known as Mrs S in Caged in Chaos) sat down with me to go through my diagnostic report and told me at the end that she thought I also had Asperger Syndrome. She was the headmistress of a special school, so I took her quite seriously until I went on the Internet and read about AS. Then I decided that this couldn't possibly be me at all. I didn't know what she was talking about. I was seventeen when I was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum, and by this point my knowledge and self-awareness had increased enough for me to accept and even welcome the diagnosis. Being a part of the autism support group here at university has helped me to see that there are lots of autistic people who match my cognitive profile, so I'm not even the kind of 'autistic anomaly' that I saw myself as when I was seventeen - I'm actually a standard model!
I have a good sense of humour as well. I know a lot of autistics who are funny. Similarly, I am a very friendly person - I just don't look it on the outside. It pains me to know that I have a reputation within college for being brusque and unreceptive, because I really do care about people. I wish they knew that. I just don't know how to show it so well. It is easier for me if the people are obviously vulnerable or in need of my help, because then they tend to concentrate on my intentions (to be kind) more than the problems I have with communication and expression.
For what it's worth, I think that you are probably on the autistic spectrum somewhere. It is very broad and blurry in places. However, if you don't feel comfortable using the autistic 'label', you don't have to - I was given the same diagnosis as you by one specialist, and I have rarely used it. (It was made redundant by the ASD diagnosis anyway.) For some reason I always preferred to say dyspraxia. Remember that your comfort is the most important thing.
Sun Jun 17, 2012 10:06 pm
Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:21 am