Relationships and Dyspraxia

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Fenrir » Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:46 pm

Ummm...interesting night

She turned up, we talked a bit etc...just general stuff like :P Although my some of my friends did still make things 'awkward'. She couldnt stay the whole night anyway, cause of stuff she had to do today as well.

After she left though, my mate (1 who invited her and first to know i liked her), told me he told her I liked her on the same day I told him :| Which kinda tells me she's not interested anyway by the way she's been acting this past week. Only problem is though we were friends anyway, and i dont want this to make things awkward etc, so I'm gona try phoning her/talking to her in person about it. I dont mind that she's not interested, but i dont want our friendship to be ruined like, you know?

Only thing is though i thought I could trust him :? Im starting to think keeping emotions etc bottled up is the better thing to do, causes less problems :|
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Steph » Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:28 pm

Don't automatically assume that she's not interested-it could be that she thought your friend was joking-I know when I was in secondary school, people were always going around telling other people that one of their friends liked them and most of the time, they were being immature and joking around. I know your friend wasn't joking but, with how teenagers can act sometimes, it is perfectly possible that the girl thought he was messing around. I think you should talk to her.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Fenrir » Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:53 pm

Thanks for the advice :) Havnt got round to talking to her about me liking her or whatever yet, even though i've only talked to her on msn/text so far this past week. The way those convos have gone though, even if she does believe my mate she doesnt seem awkward about it (online though, so you can never tell the real feelings :P )

Going cornwall tommorow though, and shes going spain for two weeks on monday, so i suppose this will give me chance to think things over. If things are still the same after though, i've decided that first thing im going to do is phone her and ask if we can meet up in town and get a drink or something :) Tired of giving myself excuses and holding myself back lol, only one way to find out for sure i suppose.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Sat Jul 03, 2010 2:01 pm

Enjoy your time in Cornwall. :)
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How to get a girlfriend?

Postby johnbergqvist » Tue Jul 13, 2010 4:53 pm

OK guys, i've decided to properly try and get a girlfriend. Not an easy task as I havent spoken to a girl (face-to-face) in a few weeks, and the last time that happened, it didnt go very well as usual. Also I don't really know how one goes about getting a girlfriend. I presume its just you go upto a girl you like, fingers crossed she likes you, you ask her out, and then if she says yes, you're boyfriend and girlfriend and if she doesnt, you're not? I think thats how it goes. I'm hoping to start doing that when i start my second year of uni in september (I'll have just turned 19 then and I really want at least one girlfriend before i turn 20 even if its in the last few days lol). (by the way theres zero girls on my course, which doesnt help). Any ideas/suggestions? I must admit i don't have a good girlfriend record, never had one before and i've been rejected around 30-odd times in a row in the last two years or so.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Spoon » Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:42 pm

A good starting point might be to meet more girls as friends. September is great as it's fresher's week. I know you're second year but perhaps you could go to some freshers events? They're usually open to all years. Also, look around the clubs and societies. There may be something new that there wasn't last year. Be open to the idea of trying new things. Lots of unis have facebook groups for freshers. You could introduce yourself on there and try and make some new friends that way. Often there are social groups in the local community too.

Freshers is a brilliant time of year for this sort of thing because everyone's a bit nervous and feeling a bit awkward so you're not alone. Also, in fresher's week it's much more acceptable to go up to someone randomly and introduce yourself.

So yeah, try and widen your group of friends, get used to the company of girls and then *fingers crossed* someone will appeal to you and you to them as more than just friends.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby johnbergqvist » Tue Jul 13, 2010 7:10 pm

Spoon wrote:A good starting point might be to meet more girls as friends. September is great as it's fresher's week. I know you're second year but perhaps you could go to some freshers events? They're usually open to all years. Also, look around the clubs and societies. There may be something new that there wasn't last year. Be open to the idea of trying new things. Lots of unis have facebook groups for freshers. You could introduce yourself on there and try and make some new friends that way. Often there are social groups in the local community too.

Freshers is a brilliant time of year for this sort of thing because everyone's a bit nervous and feeling a bit awkward so you're not alone. Also, in fresher's week it's much more acceptable to go up to someone randomly and introduce yourself.

So yeah, try and widen your group of friends, get used to the company of girls and then *fingers crossed* someone will appeal to you and you to them as more than just friends.

OK, well I didnt go to any freshers events last year because it all involved drinking and partying, both of which i hate. I don't really know how to make friends though, to be honest, the only reason i had a couple of friends at uni was because i was on the same course as them, and anyway i still dont think they like me because i think i heard them talking about me behind their back.
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Re: How to get a girlfriend?

Postby Alice » Tue Jul 13, 2010 8:34 pm

johnbergqvist wrote: Any ideas/suggestions? I must admit i don't have a good girlfriend record, never had one before and i've been rejected around 30-odd times in a row in the last two years or so.


You've asked out 30 girls in the last two years or so? It sounds like mabye you're really not picky. Perhaps you should try getting to know them first and see if you're actually interested in one another. I know I'd always go for a guy who liked me personally over one who's criteria was just single female. Also, why the time limit? I'm the same age as you and have only just started on my first relationship.
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Re: How to get a girlfriend?

Postby johnbergqvist » Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:21 pm

Alice wrote:
johnbergqvist wrote: Any ideas/suggestions? I must admit i don't have a good girlfriend record, never had one before and i've been rejected around 30-odd times in a row in the last two years or so.


You've asked out 30 girls in the last two years or so? It sounds like mabye you're really not picky. Perhaps you should try getting to know them first and see if you're actually interested in one another. I know I'd always go for a guy who liked me personally over one who's criteria was just single female. Also, why the time limit? I'm the same age as you and have only just started on my first relationship.

The reason i'm not picky is because I figured I'd have a better chance of them saying yes. And i'm not very good at making friends with girls, don't think ive ever had friend whos a girl, and yes i have always been to mixed-sex schools.
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Re: How to get a girlfriend?

Postby Spoon » Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:54 pm

johnbergqvist wrote:
Alice wrote:
johnbergqvist wrote: Any ideas/suggestions? I must admit i don't have a good girlfriend record, never had one before and i've been rejected around 30-odd times in a row in the last two years or so.

The reason i'm not picky is because I figured I'd have a better chance of them saying yes. And i'm not very good at making friends with girls, don't think ive ever had friend whos a girl, and yes i have always been to mixed-sex schools.


In the grand scheme of things girls are not actually that different from boys. They don't carry a magical aura that makes them relationship material as opposed to friend material. lol. This is why I think your first aim should be to have more female friends before anything else so that you have a better idea of who you're attracted. Don't rush it. No relationship is better than a bad one, seriously.
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Re: How to get a girlfriend?

Postby johnbergqvist » Tue Jul 13, 2010 10:06 pm

Spoon wrote:In the grand scheme of things girls are not actually that different from boys. They don't carry a magical aura that makes them relationship material as opposed to friend material. lol. This is why I think your first aim should be to have more female friends before anything else so that you have a better idea of who you're attracted. Don't rush it. No relationship is better than a bad one, seriously.

What do you mean by 'relationship material as opposed to friend material'? Surely they're the same thing? A girl's a girl?
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Spoon » Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:13 am

I mean a girl you want to be friends with rather than a girl you want to be in a relationship with.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby johnbergqvist » Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:14 pm

Spoon wrote:I mean a girl you want to be friends with rather than a girl you want to be in a relationship with.

Oh. But doesnt a girl you're friends with eventually become your girlfriend, assuming either you or them arn't taken already? I'm getting a bit confused.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Steph » Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:33 pm

It doesn't quite work like that, John. A guy can have any number of female friends but (hopefully), only 1 girlfriend. You have to feel a sufficient level of attraction towards each other that makes both of you want to take things further, assuming you are both single. In my admittedly limited experience, the attraction when it occurs is so strong that you can't really mistake it for anything else and it is this attraction that makes relationships last more than a couple of months. Perhaps unusually, I wasn't friends with my boyfriend before we started dating. I met him outside the staff hostel where I work, chatted to him for an hour and a half that first night, which is unusual for me as I usually clam up around people I don't know, he gave me his phone number that evening, we texted each other repeatedly over the next 2 days, went on our first date and then came out publicly as boyfriend and girlfriend, all within a week. That doesn't work for everyone (indeed, I always advocate getting to know each other as friends first) but we celebrated our one year anniversary a week ago today. During that time, we have become best friends as well as boyfriend and girlfriend. It all depends on you and any potential girlfriend you may have as individuals and how you interact with each other. I hope that makes sense.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Steph » Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:35 pm

I also agree with Alice. Most girls like to feel special and that a guy wants them for who they are rather than just because they're single.
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