Relationships and Dyspraxia

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby johnbergqvist » Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:25 pm

ah ok thanks, I was confused because someone told me that if your friends with a girl, then you can't be their boyfriend or something like that. oh well.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Rosie-posie » Wed Jul 14, 2010 3:49 pm

sometimes thats how the best relationships start by friendships.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Spoon » Wed Jul 14, 2010 3:53 pm

I've heard that too James. Sometimes when people are friends with each other they decide not to start dating/be in a relationship with each other because they don't want to spoil the friendship for example, if the relationship didn't work out.

I think this is what your friend meant when they said you can't be someone's boyfriend if you're friends with them. The word 'can't' in this context is a little strong but non dyspraxic/autistic people have a habit of using strong words without explaining them!
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby johnbergqvist » Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:12 pm

Spoon wrote:I've heard that too James. Sometimes when people are friends with each other they decide not to start dating/be in a relationship with each other because they don't want to spoil the friendship for example, if the relationship didn't work out.

I think this is what your friend meant when they said you can't be someone's boyfriend if you're friends with them. The word 'can't' in this context is a little strong but non dyspraxic/autistic people have a habit of using strong words without explaining them!

Erm my name's John, and the person who told me that wasnt dyspraxic or autistic. I've just spoken to someone else and they told me he was refering to something called the friend zone. hmm... this whole relationship thing just seems completely confusing. its like you cant step anywhere without being told thats wrong, or no.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Fenrir » Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:52 pm

Um, i've been talking to some friends as well about this whole 'friends and relationships' business, cause of the situation im in as well :P

From what i've gathered...if your too friendly and nice, they tend to just view you as a friend figure, and dont think about dating. If they dont know you at all, then of course, they normally wont go for you as they dont know you.

You kinda need to be in a postition where your friends with them enough for them to think about you, but not enough for it to just be in a 'friend way' if you get me.

Of course there are exceptions on either side. Sometimes they will still go for the really friendly ones, and also some may go for ones they dont know, and get to know them as they go along.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Spoon » Wed Jul 14, 2010 5:20 pm

johnbergqvist wrote:
Spoon wrote:I've heard that too James. Sometimes when people are friends with each other they decide not to start dating/be in a relationship with each other because they don't want to spoil the friendship for example, if the relationship didn't work out.

I think this is what your friend meant when they said you can't be someone's boyfriend if you're friends with them. The word 'can't' in this context is a little strong but non dyspraxic/autistic people have a habit of using strong words without explaining them!

Erm my name's John,.


Whoops, sorry John!

Try not to take too much advice from other people. When you meet someone you like, the distinction will become clear to you and it should all follow naturally even if it feels a little awkward at first.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby evilmuffet » Wed Jul 14, 2010 5:52 pm

Never be in a relationship never will kinda have a phobia for getting touched, kissed or hugged. Though sometimes I feel a little bit huggy. I think I might be asexual though since every time I imagine having a boyfriend I see myself just having a companion to talk to.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby AndrewCook95 » Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:40 am

Well my present girlfriend has dyspraxia as well so she doesn't have any problems understanding me
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby princess_leila » Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:18 pm

i was with this guy for 5 mouths but we broke up coz he was flirting with all my mates but unforty sinces i broke up with my bf i have not had a proper boyfriend and it coz i am to scared to do anythink to an boy (like a kiss or a hug) i think it to with my past boyfriends cause they all cheated on me so sinces i broke up with my last bf i not got with anyone just in case the same happens again :cry: :)
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby AndrewCook95 » Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:22 pm

princess_leila wrote:i was with this guy for 5 mouths but we broke up coz he was flirting with all my mates but unforty sinces i broke up with my bf i have not had a proper boyfriend and it coz i am to scared to do anythink to an boy (like a kiss or a hug) i think it to with my past boyfriends cause they all cheated on me so sinces i broke up with my last bf i not got with anyone just in case the same happens again :cry: :)


You can't let past bad experiences put you off boys. There are some genuinely nice ones amongst the horrible ones. You just have to look for them
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby abi » Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:56 pm

i think im begining to have feelings for a person, but im not sure if it is anything, and even if it is, i dont think im ready yet, because of the event that happened in what i refer to as hell. even if i can get past my fears, i dont think he will ever like me, i think the way i deat woth sever emotional difficulties in person (not online or in writing tho) is to put up a front, and that front is kinda mean and sometimes harsh ir almost violent, and i think i scare him away.
i dont know what to do. any ideas?
the way i see it, dyspraxia is an extra hurdle in every race i run, but that extra hurdle, is just extra exercise, so in the end, i will come through stronger.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Spoon » Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:33 pm

abi wrote:i think im begining to have feelings for a person, but im not sure if it is anything, and even if it is, i dont think im ready yet, because of the event that happened in what i refer to as hell. even if i can get past my fears, i dont think he will ever like me, i think the way i deat woth sever emotional difficulties in person (not online or in writing tho) is to put up a front, and that front is kinda mean and sometimes harsh ir almost violent, and i think i scare him away.
i dont know what to do. any ideas?

Have you seen a counsellor about the things that happened to you Abi? Sometimes talking to people can help you with fears and make you feel less like you need to put up a front.

evilmuffet wrote:Never be in a relationship never will kinda have a phobia for getting touched, kissed or hugged. Though sometimes I feel a little bit huggy. I think I might be asexual though since every time I imagine having a boyfriend I see myself just having a companion to talk to.


Hey Evilmuffet. Quite a few asexual people have relationships without sex or sexual things. I've been in non sexual relationships in the past and it was only different to friendship because of how it FELT. You're right though, for some people a relationship is not even ever necessary/desirable. Sometimes we can get all we want from friendship.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Alice » Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:23 pm

evilmuffet wrote:Never be in a relationship never will kinda have a phobia for getting touched, kissed or hugged. Though sometimes I feel a little bit huggy. I think I might be asexual though since every time I imagine having a boyfriend I see myself just having a companion to talk to.

You sound like me less than 2 months ago. Those hormones snuck up on me when I thought I'd gotten out of their range!

I was well on the way to my plan of finishing uni with a few friends, waiting till I know what country I'll be living in, and finding another asexual person or pepole to live with so that I have stable companionship, and living my life without any romance at all. I still think that if I had been asexual and lived out my plan, I would have been happy.

As it happens, I am not asexual (or gay, but having only liked one person, it's hard to tell beyond that), and I'm very happy. It's difficult to compare the two situations really, as in one I had no knowlage of the other.

Before hand, I could just about bare to be hugged breifly by close friends and family, and the idea of kissing grossed me out so much. Now I'm fine with kissing and cuddling and I find it difficult to imagine how I didn't feel something was missing before.

What I'm saying is not that it's bad to go on the assumption that you are asexual, but just don't be too suprised if it turns out that section your brain is just waiting for the right person.

abi wrote:i think im begining to have feelings for a person, but im not sure if it is anything, and even if it is, i dont think im ready yet, because of the event that happened in what i refer to as hell. even if i can get past my fears, i dont think he will ever like me, i think the way i deat woth sever emotional difficulties in person (not online or in writing tho) is to put up a front, and that front is kinda mean and sometimes harsh ir almost violent, and i think i scare him away.
i dont know what to do. any ideas?

*Hugs* I'm sure there is a guy out there (perhaps even the one you refer too, I don't know), who will take the time to see past you're front and help you to very gradually get over your fears.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Sat Jul 17, 2010 8:40 am

*hugs Abi* Alice is right.
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Re: Relationships and Dyspraxia

Postby Dan » Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:25 pm

I'm slowly getting ravaged by hormones more and more each day. I'm starting to desire a relationship a lot more than I used to. There are people I like but I'm too hard on myself to bother asking anybody out. The last person I liked significantly was liked by my best friend too and I told him that I'd feel terrible if I made a move so told him that he could. He did and she said no and now I feel bad about that too. -sigh-

Hopefully it'll all improve soon-ish!
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