Hi...i Need Some Help!

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

Postby Jules031272 » Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:36 pm

Hi there. My name is Jules and my girlfriend has what I think is mild Dyspraxia. We've been going out for a couple of years, and our relationship is becoming increasing tense due to a couple of things: 1) she's completely disorganised, always forgetting things and 2) she's always late and can never leave on time for places.

It's only just occurred to me that the last behavorial pattern may be due to Dyspraxia. Can anyone tell me if this might be the case?

And what sort of therapy can she undergo to help?

I would really appreciate any help....pleassssse...help us save our relationship!

Jules
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Postby david456 » Sun Jul 17, 2005 10:10 pm

Alright mate,

Firstly, do you think she has mild dyspraxia or has she told you she has it? I Don't know if she is dyspraxic. I forget things, but no more than the next person. The time thing, could be dyspraxic or even dyslexic or neither and she could just be one of those people that likes to be fashionably late. Does she have any problem telling the time that you know of? I used to when I was younger with my dyspraxia (obviously I have no idea of your girlfriends age), especially with watches that don't tend to have numbers on. Obviously don't ask her if you don't know.

Also, you have got to be a little sensitive. does she know you are trying to help her, by using this messageboard? If she does fine, otherwise she could be deeply hurt that you aren't communicating with her about this.

If everything is ok with her, by all means post again and I'm sure everyone on here will only be too happy to offer their thoughts, opinions and advice.
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Postby k9ruby » Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:23 pm

Does she have a magnetic feild when it comes to doorways/lamposts?
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Postby Charlotte1 » Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:59 pm

Hello Jules,

I am a teenager with mild dyspraxia so I probably have some symptoms in common with your girlfriend even though I don't know how severe her dyspraxia is.

First of all let me say how sorry I am to hear you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship. You obviously care about your girlfriend a great deal and want to help her.

BOTH (not just the latter) of your girlfriends problems are probably due to dyspraxia. For organisation, she could make lists to remind herself of what to do or use post-it notes. I find that helps me. Setting an alarm when she has to leave the house to get somewhere can also help if her mind wanders. She may need to set herself a longer time to get ready to enable her to be on time. For more inforamtion about dyspraxia visit matts-hideout (of course) and the dyspraxia foundation website: www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk

Dyspraxia cannot be cured although occupational and physiotherapy can help some people.

Have you talked to your girlfriend about your problems? I suggest talking it over.

Above all try to be patient, I know it can be annoying at times but believe me nobody gets more annoyed at the dyspraxics behaviour than the dyspraxic themself.

Good luck,
Charlotte x
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Postby Jules031272 » Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:29 pm

Thanks very much for your responses and help guys.

Firstly, yeah, I've told her about the website now. So no worries there.

Secondly, she will be going to some sort of pyschotherapist who has had some experience in dealing with Dyspraxia. not sure if he's the right guy to be seeing but we'll see. If not, I'll have a scout around for someone else.

It does seem a little easier to bear now that I know it is the Dyspraxia and I know there may be some ways of trying to sort it out.

Jules
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Postby david456 » Sun Jul 24, 2005 9:20 pm

Dyspraxia affects the cerabelum in the brain that deals with balance and hand eye coordination. look for DDAT (dyspraxia, dyslexia, and attention deficit disorder on the net, they are very good in my opinion.
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Postby slinky_malinki » Tue Jul 26, 2005 10:14 pm

The DDAT's information sounds convincing enough, but the Dyspraxia Foundation and Dyslexia Institute are very suspicious of it. There is no concrete scientific proof to suggest that the roots of dyspraxia and dyslexia lie within the cerebellum. Admittedly many people have been successfully treated by the DDAT methods (I know one dyslexic boy who swears by it) but there is also a significant percentage of people who have poured hundreds of pounds into DDAT and got nothing to show for it.

I also know many dyspraxic people who are great fans of David Mulhall's treatment for dyspraxia, which is quite different from the DDAT and works on the premise that co-ordination disorders are caused by the retention of primitive reflexes and the misalignment of nerve endings.

Dr Jacqueline Stordy insists that dyspraxia, dyslexia, and AD/HD stem from nutritional deficiences, and many people praise the special diet she has developed to combat the effects of these disorders.

The theories are many and varied. There must be a grain of truth in all of them, otherwise people would not have such glowing things to report. Discounting the possibility of placebo effects, the improvements in my dyslexic friend are too marked for the DDAT to be a complete shambles. Different things help different people. Some may be helped by DDAT, some by Mulhall, some by diet, and some by nothing save the traditional occupational and physiotherapy (which succeed in almost every case).

The key word in that sentence is 'help'. I don't think anyone should set out to cure dyspraxia, which is why I dislike the ideology espoused by both Winfred Dore and David Mulhall. It is better to learn to cope than to go out searching for ways to cure. Dyspraxic people often have low self-esteem anyway, so telling us that we need to be 'cured' of what is - in essence - a facet of our personality will do our self-image no favours.

Tell your girlfriend to be proud of herself. Dyspraxia is more than a disability, it is also a very original way of thinking and she should never forget that.
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Postby david456 » Tue Jul 26, 2005 10:46 pm

I agree with you, that is why I said "in my opinion" as nothing is always 100%.

Scientists do now believe that there is conclusive prove that fish oil (Omega 3) is of benefit to everyone, but in particular those with the conditions mentioned above.
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