Shield (got you wondering here???)

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

Shield (got you wondering here???)

Postby James Brimer » Sat Jul 03, 2010 7:20 pm

Anyone else find theyt act "hard" as a defence mechanisim, (I am a classic example of someone with APD and other SpLD 9I think thats what all the Dys's are called??,) though I have now got out of the habit. I guess this is a bit like laiughing at jokes even though i do not find them funny.
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Re: Shield (got you wondering here???)

Postby MontyDyspraxia » Sat Jul 03, 2010 7:25 pm

Sort of. I've always prefered to hang out with boys, so I used to try and like them to fit in. I don't do that as much now.
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Re: Shield (got you wondering here???)

Postby Alice » Sat Jul 03, 2010 7:46 pm

I was very standoffish as a teenager. It wasn't that I thought it was cool to be agressive or distant, but both were ways of not opening up to being hurt. I think, and I know lots of pepole wouldn't like me to say this, that it saved me an awful lot of troubles. Teenagers are not kind to one another especially when one stands out as vunerable.
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Re: Shield (got you wondering here???)

Postby Steph » Sat Jul 03, 2010 9:27 pm

I am the opposite and always have been-I get told that I "wear my heart on my sleeve" (show every emotion very clearly on my face and how I act) by a lot of people. People who I have met for the first time can get the impression that I am standoffish though as it takes me a while to interact with people who I have met for the first time but that's an autistic thing, not a defence mechanism.
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Re: Shield (got you wondering here???)

Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Sun Jul 04, 2010 3:43 pm

If I knew how to make a pretend hard shell, I would.
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Re: Shield (got you wondering here???)

Postby parnassus » Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:18 pm

I used to be very nasty to people in my first few years of secondary school. It wasn't deliberate. My entry to secondary school coincided with my move to a city where I didn't know anyone and had to start all over again with a new set of teachers and a different group of friends. I couldn't seem to make any friends no matter how hard I tried. I noticed that the other kids often teased each other and joked around. I decided that this must be the best way to befriend people whom I liked - teasing them and making them laugh. Unfortunately my teasing wasn't friendly. A lot of the things I said were insulting or just plain unkind, but I couldn't see the difference. I was bewildered when my cunning plan did not result in lots of friends, just nasty insults in return, so I retreated into my books and became very like Alice. Aloof, standoffish. I must have looked as though I didn't care, but inside I was very upset - I liked these people and I had wanted them to like me. Now I had spoilt everything, and I didn't understand how.

My social skills are a lot better now than they were then. Learning about dyspraxia and autism has helped me to understand myself. Now I avoid teasing people unless I know them well, as I realise that I'm still prone to faux pas and that only people who know me are going to make allowances for this. I don't put on an act to make myself liked; I just accept that it will take me quite a long time to make friends, but take comfort in the knowledge that when they do appear it will be because they like me for myself, and not because my behaviour is exactly like theirs.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Re: Shield (got you wondering here???)

Postby James Brimer » Mon Jul 05, 2010 8:50 am

I find that Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers Syndrome was very helpfu, l I now strike a good balance between fitting in and being myself. Which is good becuase I can't have been a very nice person to meet.
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Re: Shield (got you wondering here???)

Postby wm1995 » Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:40 pm

I find that I used to not be violent, but when other people started becoming violent I would act out, and now I think I have become a lot more violent. I will hit those who steal stuff. I also generally try make jokes against myself to avoid others doing it (e.g. "How often do you go out?" "Go Out?! That question implies that you think I have a social life.")
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