Who is right?

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Who is right?

Postby James Brimer » Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:30 pm

About a week ago I had this conversation with my Father:

Dad: "James could you not bang the plates down so hard"

(Note:I was trying)

Me: "But I am not deliberetly banging them"

Dad: "But your not trying not to"

Me: "I was trying"

Dad: "No you were not, that was a pointless thing to say"

Me: "Isn't it as pointless as telling me to try not to bang the plates when I am not doing it delibertly (bare in mind this was a geniune question)

Discussion end with Dad cross.

Why did he get cross?, I was only asking a question. He then said he was the one who decided who said what was pointless. What did I do wrong?
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Re: Who is right?

Postby JamesStanley » Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:47 pm

I dont understand what you have done wrong maybe you shouldnt have asked the question but i dont see what the problem was
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Re: Who is right?

Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Mon Oct 18, 2010 5:50 pm

You have talked to him as if he was your equal. He is not your equal, he is your dad. You should not question him. If you question people like parents and doctors, they will just ignore and punish you.
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Re: Who is right?

Postby Creative » Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:24 am

Your Dad probably didn't realise the amount of effort that it was taking you not to bang the plates together. I think that he made the mistake of thinking you were doing it on purpose and that made him angry.
Talk to him about it when you are both feeling calm and explain that you were trying your best.
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Re: Who is right?

Postby James Brimer » Thu Oct 21, 2010 2:02 pm

thanks
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Re: Who is right?

Postby Trin » Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:16 pm

Perhaps he was just having a bad day. Parents can have those too and maybe the plates banging were just getting on his nerves. It doesn't sound like he thinks you were purposely doing it to be loud. Sounds like you might be feeling a little misunderstood right now, by saying that he didn't know that you weren't doing it on purpose. Hope you can communicate a little better in the future with each other.
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Re: Who is right?

Postby Alice » Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:08 pm

I should imagine your voice tone sounded sarcastic or overly defensive. That always gets me into arguments, because I tend to sound sarcastic or defensive sometimes when I am perfectly happy. I also find it hard to keep a level voice if I see a row coming, it's not that it's loud, it's just that I sound snappy when I'm in situations which make me nervous.

I know dyspraxia can affect one's ability to use voice tones apropriately (or I was told it was part of my difficulties), so perhaps you aught to explain this for future reference.
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