Voting

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

Voting

Postby parnassus » Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:42 pm

This has nothing to do with dyspraxia, but hey, we are friends and not merely support group members. Let us consider one of life's more serious aspects.

To all of you who are eighteen and over:

I hope you are planning to vote in the upcoming General Election. Voter apathy is one of the biggest dangers facing society - if no sensible-thinking citizens turn out, the lunatic fringe cram the polling stations and people like Adolf Hitler get voted in.

Just in case you haven't decided who you want leading Britain into a brighter future, may I offer a suggestion?

The Monster Raving Loony Party.

Here is a sample of my favourite policies:

All people who want the right to roam will have to get permission from the Pope.

Rich people should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.

Any Home Secretary claiming to have more children than necessary will be made to run the House Of Commons Crèche.

Any cabinet minister found telling lies will be shot across the English Channel in a high velocity circus cannon to save time and first class travel expenses. Top British engineers will be employed to plot the correct trajectory. A European funded net will be set up strategically in front of the European parliament so that when the errant MP hits it, he or she will bounce through the second floor window where they will be handed champagne and canapé at a reception hosted by Leon Brittan and Peter Mandelson.

To help finance the above mentioned net, when it is not required it will be hired out to the London production of ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!’ for the child catcher.

In reaction to the old adage, “Children are so honest” we intend to reduce the age of standing for parliament from 21 to 5.

Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.

We will replace the House of Lords with the House of Cards, to make it easier for the Government to deal with.

All cars will be converted to run on Venos to help stop congestion.

All trains will be fitted with an automatic braking system that will function as soon as it sees red; this will include people who have been completely enraged by having to stand waiting on a platform for 3 hours.

Traffic wardens will be re-named Dick Turpin because, let’s face it, it’s daylight robbery.

And here's one for Matt and family:

Drivers will be allowed to drive over roundabouts when there’s nothing about. This will make driving through Milton Keynes much more fun.

Go on - vote for insanity! You know it makes sense.

www.omrlp.org.uk
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Postby Helen » Mon Mar 21, 2005 1:57 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Well you have convinced me Vicky! Can't think of a better way to use my precious vote and they could not do worse than the Labour party, could they? :)
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Postby parnassus » Tue Mar 22, 2005 10:14 am

Sadly the OMRLP are not planning to field a candidate in my area! :shock: If anywhere needs a healthy dose of insanity to shake up the stodgily conventional residents, it is the Fylde. I may be driven to join the party and stand for election myself.

I have a friend who is a Member of Youth Parliament. Disappointingly, she insists that a vote for the Loonies is a wasted vote and is trying to get me to take my political responsibilities seriously. When I remarked that I was still considering the Lib Dems, she nearly fell off her chair as she frantically tried to explain to me that they are even worse the Loonies. Westminster has no sense of humour. Not even the young bricks in it, i.e. Kate.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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