Social ineptness

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

Postby madame_tigre » Thu May 19, 2005 7:48 am

Good luck, and remember that everybody on the Dyspraxic Teens forum and Matt's Hideout is praying for you!
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Postby mattie » Sun May 29, 2005 10:19 pm

I haven't posted on here for a while now. I fell pretty content at the moment mainly because I have a holiday this friday. It's only for 4 days but it should be really good fun. :D :) :lol:


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Postby Hermionefan5 » Tue May 31, 2005 4:02 pm

That's good to hear! :D We have a holiday here too. Actually it just happened. It was Memorial Day and we remembered all the vetrans of the wars and the soldiers currently fighting in the Mid-East and around the world. There was a parade and after the parade, a few blank gun shots in the cemetery near my house to remember the fallen and those still fighting. Then we had a cookout at my house with hamburgers on the grill. My dad makes the best hamburgers!!! 8) :D
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Postby mattie » Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:01 pm

We have a holiday here too. Actually it just happened. It was Memorial Day and we remembered all the vetrans of the wars and the soldiers currently fighting in the Mid-East and around the world. There was a parade and after the parade, a few blank gun shots in the cemetery near my house to remember the fallen and those still fighting.


Actually I meant holiday as in going away for a few days. I think Americans call them vacations wheras us Brits just call them holidays. :)


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Postby fuzzy » Wed Jun 01, 2005 9:54 pm

Hey mattie,

Dunno if you'll read this as the last post was like 2 months ago.. Well anyway, my names Rebecca and Im nineteen (but nearly twenty- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i JUST JOINED THIS FORUM AND ITS REALLY FAB :D woops sorry caps lock was on! I too am dyspaxic and have a lot of the same problems as you. Apart from being clumsy, having a poor memory and having shockingly bad handwriting, I too can at times find it really hard to socailise and still get nervous at parties although not as much as before. Iv just finished my 1st year at uni, ie my first year living away from home! Before I went I remember being terrified of the socail aspect of halls of residence, having to get people to like me and getting stressed about people thinking I was stupid! Although I still have some difficulty, since living in a student flat Iv learnt so much- I too thought that I would never cope at university in a strange and unfamiliar place, I even considered not going at all! But moving away is one of the best things Iv ever done- its really helped me to accept myself as Dyspraxic and not just clumsy and thick! Its also given me more confidence becuse I guess I find talking to peopel easier now. What Im trying to say I guess is that if you learn to respect yourself and accept your dyspraxia others should, if thier understanding people, do the same! Erm hopefully this is some use to you... and sorry if Iv babbled on for an age! :oops:

Ta ta!

Reb 8)
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Postby Helen » Wed Jun 01, 2005 9:54 pm

Hope you have a great time Mattie. Enjoy the break and have fun. 8) :D
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whoops

Postby fuzzy » Wed Jun 01, 2005 9:56 pm

woops, just realised there are more posts when you scroll DOWN... well what can I say, its the computers fault not mine! :)
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whoops again!

Postby fuzzy » Wed Jun 01, 2005 10:17 pm

Mattie,

Sorry as you can tell Im a bit crap with computer forumy things... the first post was in response to what you said about uni in April I think... so its probably completly irrelevant now! Soz! Secondly sorry to hear about your feelings of depression. I too have suffered from it, Im taking each day as it comes. Sometimes I feel rubbish, and today Im fine- but with the help of my counsellor, friends and sweet pills I think Im on the mend! Hopefully your felling a bit better and enjpoy your holiday! Thats if youve not already had it.. does anyonbe else find usinf forums so bloody confusing?! Yikes!

Reb :oops:
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Postby mattie » Fri Jun 10, 2005 8:24 pm

I'm back from holiday (as you might have read on the other website). I had a really great time even though it only lasted 4 days. I just wish that every day of real life was like that.

Back to reality now, unfortunately, and I've put nearly a stone on due to overindulgence. :(


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Postby parnassus » Fri Jun 10, 2005 8:35 pm

Everyone's allowed to indulge occasionally! :D You'll soon be back to normal if you eat healthily and take exercise.
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Postby mattie » Tue Jun 14, 2005 5:30 pm

I've felt quite lonely lately so I bought the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in hardback to keep me company. They're a great read IMO.

I've also lost a couple of pounds in weight since I've been back. :D

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Postby parnassus » Tue Jun 14, 2005 8:07 pm

Good taste in literature. :D
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Postby mattie » Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:45 pm

I'm feeling very down right at the moment. I'm 22 years old and I feel that my life has no direction. I'm going to uni this year but still don't feel that I'm moving on. People of my age are generally much more independent than I am, and have better social skills. I don't really have any fun either apart from the occasional holiday. It seems to just be work, work, work and I've got another 3 years of more work and education to go yet! I've been studying for so many years now (due to a couple of crap course choices and exam retakes) that I'm just sick of education and learning. Despite this, I have to go back to uni to get a decent job, so I don't really have any choice in the matter.

The frustrating thing is that I'm starting to really crave independence. My parents are approaching 60 and are, let's say, very old in their views and ways (and are constantly moaning). I love them very much but want to live like young people do i.e. be independent and have fun. I want to have my own house and live my own live now. Trouble is I'm turning old like them. I haven't really lived yet. I haven't been on holiday without them, I don't have many (actually any) friends to go places with, and I've never had a girlfriend. These are just normal stuff that every young person has experienced, but unfortunately I haven't. When I tried to explain to my mum that I want my independence she seemed to take it personally and looked hurt.

It's got so bad in the past year that I've developed this unhealthy obsession of moving abroad and getting my own place. I've spent so many hours browsing forums of foreign countries that I've lost count. I spent over 8 hours once without a rest! I realise that this probably because of my frustration with my life's direction. Problem is, I can't see it improving any time soon.

Rant over. :(

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social ineptness

Postby kaff » Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:57 pm

Hi mattie - i've been reading your messages and my heart goes out to you. You seem so sad but i can't help but get the feeling that here is a fine young man with a wicked sense of humour deep down inside him but just hasn't found the right people to share it with, and that past experiences socially has maybe knocked your confidence a bit. Forgive me and please tell me if i am wrong
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Fri Jun 17, 2005 8:47 pm

Oh, honey, wish I could make it better for you....

I can totally sympathise. What you want is so reasonable and so many people take it for granted. I'm sixteen and I don't have the same level of problems you do, but I have had long periods with no friends and I've come through them. I even have a boyfriend now, if you'd told me that two years ago things would be as they are now I would have called you a complete lunatic.

What Uni are you going to, and what will you be studying? Will you be living in halls, at home, or somewhere else? I'm sure things will get better once you get there. Universities go out of their way to make it easy for each year's new intake to find friends.

From what you've written on this forum, you seem like an intelligent, funny, lovely person. I don't think that you have a reason to believe that people won't like you.

I know how hard it is to make conversation with people. Even though my self-esteem has increased a lot, I still often find myself completely without anything to say. Hw2ever, I can barely stop talking when I'm with people I have a common subject to talk about. I joined NAGTY (National Academy of Gifted Talented Youth) and I met these people who I felt I had something in common with and I could talk to them and make friends. Once I had realised that I was capable of being liked I was able to socialise more at my school.

Anyway, my advice to you is to find an organisation or group where you can meet people ou will automatcally have something in common with. It will do your self esteem the world of good.
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