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Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 10:52 pm
by parnassus
Does anyone else here have a problem with working out when things are getting too much for them to cope with? My parents have always complained that I never let them know that I'm having problems until the problems have got really huge. This is not deliberate - I never seem to understand how bad things are until they mount up and mount up and all of a sudden I'm feeling tearful and edgy all the time. I've been quite overwhelmed by all the work required for my uni course (planning and organisation have never exactly been my strong point) and although I did notice that I was struggling, it's only recently that I've understood just how much. Will I never learn? This always happens to me. I need to work out an effective way of measuring my stress so that I can ask for help before the problems are huge. How do other people with this problem deal with this?

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 12:49 am
by Remus
I'm pretty much the same, with me, things tend to reach boiling point before I crack and then get the help I need eventually. Sure, I know at the time, I'm stressed and dealing with a lot but in my mind, I'm dealing with it and I'm quite stubborn as well which doesn't help, I will happily sit in silence and battle on by myself than admit I need help. Although I have got better in recent times. I'm in a situation now where I am struggling to finish the course and catch up with past work because of my personal and health issues I have been dealing with although that's mainly down to the lack of support from my ice queen of a personal tutor and not myself for a change.

I find if someone breaks down what I need to do e.g. go through every part of an assignment and highlights the work in quite simple bullet points, I can easily get on and do the work. My old personal tutor was great at this, she would run through every subject per week and help me manage my deadlines. So yeah, as long as they put the framework in place for me, I can easily cope with the stress of it all but if its not there, then not good! :(

Good luck with your course, Vicky and I hope you find a way to manage your workload! :D

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 11:20 pm
by safcjcp
Remus wrote:I'm pretty much the same, with me, things tend to reach boiling point before I crack and then get the help I need eventually. Sure, I know at the time, I'm stressed and dealing with a lot but in my mind, I'm dealing with it and I'm quite stubborn as well which doesn't help, I will happily sit in silence and battle on by myself than admit I need help. Although I have got better in recent times. I'm in a situation now where I am struggling to finish the course and catch up with past work because of my personal and health issues I have been dealing with although that's mainly down to the lack of support from my ice queen of a personal tutor and not myself for a change.

I find if someone breaks down what I need to do e.g. go through every part of an assignment and highlights the work in quite simple bullet points, I can easily get on and do the work. My old personal tutor was great at this, she would run through every subject per week and help me manage my deadlines. So yeah, as long as they put the framework in place for me, I can easily cope with the stress of it all but if its not there, then not good! :(

Good luck with your course, Vicky and I hope you find a way to manage your workload! :D


it seems that you are a lot like me i even have a tutor who nobody likes. my problem is if it is not structured properly i will struggle to do anything so it mounts up but then depending how much work i when it gets properly structured i sometimes fly through the work and catch up quickly but if its too much i end up struggling more and i don't like to ask for help no matter how bad it gets it doesn't matter who to.

for me i think this started early in school as i felt that i needed to prove that i could do anything and everything without any help i needed to do this as i tried to use it to show people who bullied me that no matter what they did i could do anything acedemicaly without help and i needed to show myself to mottivate me and help ignore the people who had said anything bad about me.
The only person i felt i could open up to about this was my tutor at school but know i've left i've made it worse as i haven't found somebody to open up to about anything.

sorry if i went off in a bit of a tangent at the end.

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 9:24 pm
by Alice
I never ask for help until it's almost too late. I find it hard to tell how serious things are until I am pretty much breaking under the strain. Even then I often don't want to bother people if there's an outside chance I still might cope.

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 8:05 pm
by C
Do you know, I'd never really thought about this before I read this thread, but yes I do have a major problem noticing when I'm stressed! Sometimes it all just 'gets on top of me' and, in hindsight, I can see that maybe there have been little indicators before I'm getting stressed out I just didn't notice them. I also sometimes find it difficult to articulate and understand exactly what it is I'm stressed about; kind of 'separating out' my issues I'm having.

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 11:24 pm
by cosmiccreeper
I can say I'm the same. I'm often told to not let things 'get on top of me' but I just don't like admitting I need help. Sorry I can't be of much actual help, as I don't think I deal with it very well myself! Maybe this is a human thing, rather than just a dyspraxia thing? Much as I'd like to attribute anything to dyspraxia. :)

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:40 am
by Steph
I usually don't notice when I'm getting stressed either until I'm too stressed to cope. Like Cosmiccreeper said, though, I'm not sure it's entirely down to dyspraxia. I think human pride stops a lot of people admitting that they could do with some support, instead attempting to cope with all their pressures themselves. I know a lot of people who are like that.

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:37 pm
by _robyn_
I have never thought about it before, but I have difficulty judging how serious a problem is.

So I use to have no friends and not go to lunch because I didnt like sitting alone and obviously my teachers were asking me why i didnt tell anyone I seriously just didnt think it was a big deal, where as when my favourite spoon was in the dishwasher and I wanted to eat some jelly I had a massive rant and was near crying.

I know when I'm stressed but people get confused because what most people find miserable, upsetting and stressful (such as no friends) I dont really care. But when it comes to a simple thing like losing my rubix cube I freak out completely

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:41 am
by jemstein123
parnassus wrote:Does anyone else here have a problem with working out when things are getting too much for them to cope with? My parents have always complained that I never let them know that I'm having problems until the problems have got really huge. This is not deliberate - I never seem to understand how bad things are until they mount up and mount up and all of a sudden I'm feeling tearful and edgy all the time. I've been quite overwhelmed by all the work required for my uni course (planning and organisation have never exactly been my strong point) and although I did notice that I was struggling, it's only recently that I've understood just how much. Will I never learn? This always happens to me. I need to work out an effective way of measuring my stress so that I can ask for help before the problems are huge. How do other people with this problem deal with this?


This comes into the issues I'm facing now...I just trying keep myself doing things and communicating with people is important!

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 1:47 am
by carebear15
I was scared and have sensitive ears also i have autism was diagnosed when i was little it is on my medical paper work. and louds booms and loud noises scare me and strarted crying and sat on Dollar general floor and finally got myself together and come down myself. I started playing around and told the worker there i was going to put him in the container and give him to tony and tony has aspergers syndrome that works there and so i was under stress too . i can get real hyper and finally a little come down but i felt like i needed tony because i was scared. but i come myself down.

i feeling streess and want to cry right now because i think i am not typing this right all the way.
I have to have things perfect .
i went to a concert and stressful and anxious real bad. I was so excited too. i noticing going to people is alot for me now and everything stressful so i try to take my medicine to stop it but you can't rely on medicine. I don't know, vicky what you think

Re: Noticing when you're stressed

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:30 am
by parnassus
Steph wrote:I usually don't notice when I'm getting stressed either until I'm too stressed to cope. Like Cosmiccreeper said, though, I'm not sure it's entirely down to dyspraxia. I think human pride stops a lot of people admitting that they could do with some support, instead attempting to cope with all their pressures themselves. I know a lot of people who are like that.


Pride is a separate issue from what I'm talking about. To be too proud to ask for help, you have to at least realise on some level that you're struggling. It's working this out that I have trouble with. I honestly don't notice that things are bad, and I will say, "Everything's fine!" one day only to burst into tears on the next. Then my parents will say, "Why didn't you tell us about this problem sooner?" They don't seem to get that I will live with a problem for a long time before noticing that it is a problem. It was like this when I was being bullied at school. I just didn't think to say anything until it got really awful.

C wrote:I also sometimes find it difficult to articulate and understand exactly what it is I'm stressed about; kind of 'separating out' my issues I'm having.


I think identifying emotions and expressing them are a big part of it.