I'm cross

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

I'm cross

Postby parnassus » Fri Jun 03, 2005 12:59 pm

In fact, 'cross' is an understatement.

Recently, a group of people at my school (who, incidentally, have never even read my book) decided to review it. One girl said that I obviously haven't got a severe problem - I just started exaggerating my symptoms when I got diagnosed, and am now using dyspraxia as a money-making scheme. This girl has never been in any of my lessons and scarcely knows me. She naturally has no clue about the date when I was diagnosed. Then one of my old roommates claimed that I had written about members of the boarding house without their permission. She said, "Apparently, she's even made Angela out to be a two-faced liar."

For those of you who have read Caged in Chaos, Angela is the girl mentioned in the very first chapter, A Recipe for Chaos. I wrote that she is my friend, that she's good at languages, that she's a talented musician, and that she has an illness called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. All of this is true. Angela herself read the description and approved it. I never implied that she is two-faced - why would I, when she's one of my friends? I don't even know where this rumour has come from.

A friend who overheard the conversation reported it to me, and I'm now angry, puzzled, and upset - especially as my literary critics haven't read the book! What to do?
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Postby Hermionefan5 » Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:44 pm

Vicky- I can totally understand why you are angry. If someone did that to me, I would react the same way. I hate it when people say things that are not true and then spread rumors. :x It was very rude of that girl to say things about you that are not true when she does not even know you. :? And for your roommate to say that was also not very nice, especially since it was not true. Maybe your friend overheard the wrong thing and got it mixed up. I hope that is what happened since what she thought was said was not very nice, to say the least. :x I don't like liars and I hope things get better for you soon. 8)

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Postby Hermionefan5 » Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:48 pm

Also, if they really DID read your book then they would know that you are NOT lying and that you didn't try to hurt your friend's feelings at all!!
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Postby silver » Sat Jun 04, 2005 6:02 am

I haven't yet had the oppotunity of reading your book, but I think it's quite an accomplishment. It's pretty rare to find the strength to share a very personal part of yourself in a book. For that I think you should be proud of yourself. I think the rumours stem most certainly from jealousy. You wrote a groundbreaking book, and you have dyspraxia. Somehow, I think those two concepts aren't compatible to some people, they probably reckon that if you're doing that badly you never would've been able to write a book. They probably can't believe they didn't think of writing a memoir first, or perhaps can't stand the fact that their lives don't yet have enough struggle or substance in them to write such a book.

Whatever you do stay level, try to ignore them as best as possible, because if any sensible person eventually actually reads the book they'll know what to make of it.

Keep your chin up, keep shining your light!
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Postby Helen » Sat Jun 04, 2005 1:33 pm

Hi Vicky,
Oh dear! :cry:
It seems that jealousy is rearing its ugly head in this instance. What a terrible thing for your 'critics' to have to endure!! Jealosuy is an emotion which destroys an individual and causes those afflicted to become bitter nasty, and spiteful with their tongues.

I think the best thing you can do is to ignore their comments and treat them with the comtempt they deserve. Any attempt to appeal to the better nature of people so twisted and ignorant in their thinking would just be a waste of your time and energy.

Don't let them make you feel down, Vicky. Your book is wonderful - it is honest and true. It is written with passion and humour and you have an ability that the rest of us can only admire. We all have our critics and they are ofcourse entitled to their opinions, but that is all they are 'opinions'! Just because they insist on saying them, it does not make them true. Ignorance is a dangerous thing, they are proving that and I pity them.

Sending you a hug,
Helen x
Last edited by Helen on Sat Jun 04, 2005 6:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby k9ruby » Sat Jun 04, 2005 5:01 pm

Gawd, i almost feel sorry for those people who oviosly have egos no bigger than a flea, Don't listen to them vickey, this is blatently pure jealously!!!! :wink:
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Postby madame_tigre » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:43 am

Hi Vicky,

Your post has made me feel angry that there's such mean, jealous people around. They should be pleased and proud that they know someone so talented. They should all look before they leap and read your book before reading it.

This next bit is kind of off-topic, but what you wrote about your friend Angela was very interesting. I have a brother with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome who's also very musical although he is too shy to play in front of people. I've lost count of all the instruments he's brought in the last five years (he's had the illness for nearly that long) I'm starting to wonder if there is a connection between CFS and Music. I can completely understand why people might find playing music a really comforting friend.
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Postby parnassus » Sun Jun 05, 2005 5:28 pm

Thank you for the support, everyone. I'm feeling much more calm and level-headed about it now that I've had a few days to put things into perspective. At the time I was on fire with anger, and now I can only feel sorry. It is sad that many of the people who know the least about dyspraxia assume they know the most, and even sadder that they won't do any research to back up their claims. It didn't occur to me that they might be jealous, but now I see that you have a point - the girl who dismissed my dyspraxia is one of the most gifted students in the year group, with a galaxy of A stars behind her at GCSE. She's going to Oxford next year. It must be hard to feel 'outstripped' by someone who has to spend many hours per week in the special education unit. If only she could see that I am not trying to compete with anyone.

As for CFS, I believe that it is linked to musical ability in some way - Angela can play about four different instruments (piano, guitar, clarinet, and French horn) with amazing skill, and she only had proper lessons in French horn. Unfortunately, her CFS made her too weak to lift it. This was when she started messing about with the piano. Much to her astonishment, she discovered that she could play Beethoven on her first attempt...she's a marvellous girl.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Postby lukeyj » Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:30 pm

I think it takes a really confident person to be able to happily compliment another person on an achievement. By doing so it does make a few people feel inferior to admit it. I think the people who criticised the book feel inferior enough in the fact they believe that someone could take the spotlight from them if they state that it is a good achievement.

I unfortunately know this because i have confidence problems. True confidence is something you do that you don't need to state. To accept that someone is better at something and to believe that even if people know this, they still have faith in you. Not admitting an achievement of another highlights the fact you haven't done this but feel the need to criticise in order to take some of the credit of said person in question.

Note: This post pretty much makes no sense but i hope you understand what i'm getting it. I can't quite put what i mean into words.
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Postby bibliophile » Wed Jun 08, 2005 7:59 pm

they are just jealous and want attention and what better way to do it than critisize someone who everyone knows but most people with an inch of sense will realise if they read the first chapter that you do no such thing!
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