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Do you ever feel like your mum doesn't understand you

Sat Nov 24, 2012 1:13 pm

:cry: She's sooo mean and that's because she doesn't know what it's like to be dyspraxic. do you ever feel that way?

Re: Do you ever feel like your mum doesn't understand you

Sun Nov 25, 2012 10:21 pm

yes i get this and my whole family dont understand. They tell me to stop being awkward but it isnt intentional. my mum always makes me take ritalain and i dont like it. I always shout at my mum and make her cry because she annoys me so much.

Re: Do you ever feel like your mum doesn't understand you

Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:08 am

sometimes parents just don't understand that it's not just the coordination, that's the part that my parents focus on most, i think.
it's in my head too, i have a very different view on the world, (ever feel a little alienated from other people?), and parents find it hard to adjust to your wavelength. we do things, get dirty looks of told off, and they don't realize it was completely unintentional.

Re: Do you ever feel like your mum doesn't understand you

Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:43 pm

My mum still doesn't really understand the way my mind works and I'm 26 now. I think it's difficult for people without dyspraxia to understand the different way in which we see the world. I find myself explaining most of the time to my mum why I have done something in a certain way.

Re: Do you ever feel like your mum doesn't understand you

Tue Oct 08, 2013 7:02 pm

My family doesn't understand me. My mum and one of my two brothers are Aspergers, even my dad who is dbspraxic doesn't understand me!

Re: Do you ever feel like your mum doesn't understand you

Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:49 pm

I used to feel like my parents didn't understand (and sometimes they really don't - no one can ever understand another person totally). But now I've got older (I'm Steph's age now) I can see that they knew more than I gave them credit for. They just didn't always know the best way to help, and I couldn't explain it to them because I wasn't always sure myself. They made mistakes with me when I was a child and then a teenager - pressing me to hang out more with other people my age, nagging me about my eye contact, telling me to do other things that were supposed to 'help' but that only made me more stressed - but they have apologised for that. It was frustrating and often upsetting at the time, but looking back, I just see how well-intentioned they were and I know that everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes I try to help people and I get it wrong too. Now they try hard to understand how I think, and now they accept me pretty much as I am. It took them some time to realise I probably would never be dating or getting married, and they used to get very hopeful whenever I turned up with a male friend. Now they seem to realise that I'm happy as a solo Vicky.

These days the biggest problem for me is their reaction to my low self-confidence. This is something I've struggled with ever since I was little, and I continue to do so even though I have a degree from Cambridge and am working on a PhD! Too many years of thinking myself stupid. Sometimes I will want to talk to them about how worried I am over a piece of work, or how I think I'm going to fail, or how I might be kicked off the course, and all they can do is point to the times I've done well in the past. They don't understand that what I need is not reassurance, it's for them to understand how awful and anxious I feel, and just to listen. It don't need persuading that I'm being irrational. I already know. But as I said, no one can understand another person totally. They do their best and I feel lucky to have them.

Re: Do you ever feel like your mum doesn't understand you

Tue Oct 15, 2013 5:43 pm

With my mum it seems she is very quick to jump in with a "it's not her fault, she has dyspraxia and aspergers" when in a situation with people outside the family. And even though I know she wants the best for me, I don't think she completely understands what most my problems are. A small example is today it as whole school photos and I refused to join in because it was too crowded and my mum was annoyed because she anted to buy it but now I'm not in it (the teachers had no problem with me bowing out and understood why) and sometimes I think she almost forgets that I just struggle to cope with some things.
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