a school thats safe

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

a school thats safe

Postby monkey » Fri Jul 01, 2005 10:54 am

for the last few months an idea has been froming in my mind about a school thats safe. i was talking to one of the boys i consider a younger brother, he is Dyslexic and 14 years old, at his school he is in a special class, he's a very bright boy and yet the class is called the retard class by the other students of the school. he has become terrifyed of any one finding out about his difficultys and becuase of the treatment of his fellow students is starting to lose his self confidence in learning. another girl was kicked out of her school she has ADHD so strugles as it is, she turned up to school one day and yelled at the teacher, she had been beten the night befor by her mother and took it out at school. she now has a job at burder king, and may for many many years to come and yet she is very bright, and picks up concepts in computor programing like me eating chockolate. yet because she never got any colifications in school she will have a hard time getting in to a corse for a long time yet. another girl who was perscibed as dumb by her teachers was bullyed so much she stoped turning up, shes subsiqently been kicked out. she wants to be a nurse one day, that would meen university for at least three years but she never managed to get any qalifications and so wont be given a chance in a corse for a very long time, she too is acutly bright and i have been tutoring her in reading and have been watching it improve at an increadible pace. (she now reads at the same level as me and there is little more i can do for her in this area). another girl also 16 is pregnant and so cant attend school becuase she is so up and down and there is no safe enough enviroment in a school as bullying for her too is a problem and so going to school risks her babys helth. shes also very very bright, but because of bullying she recived for being smart trys desperatly to hide it. if these are just a few of the kids out there that would benifit from a safe school, then why not start one? a free school set up where kids can go if they cant fit into the normal school system, where people who are bullyed and/or have special needs in learning can come. even make it a bording school so that kids can escape the curlety of home. some girls were saying to me last year "we wish there was a christain school we could stay at that was safe, we get bullyed at school and home but we do want to learn" .
i have spoken to a couple of people since then, and we are investigating corespondence schools. considering teaching through corespondence in a safe enviorment. this of corse being just a start, on what i hope to become a proper school one day. it doesnt sound like much at the moment but its a first step. something has got to happen, and as i once herd said 'if not now then when if not you then who'.
eger to here thoughts and opinions, especialy as there are no schools over here for students with disabilitys like dyslexia, dyspraxia etc.

other thougth that drove this idea, in a normal school you have a special needs section, but these kids a pointed out as different, at a school like this ther would be no kids pointed out as different.

thoughts please
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Postby parnassus » Fri Jul 01, 2005 4:37 pm

But students from other, 'normal' schools might then poke fun at the people who attend safe schools. Safe schooling seems to be a nicer way of describing full-time special education.

I agree that all children deserve to feel safe in school, but I think the problem should be solved by cracking down on the bullies and teaching them what it really means to have learning difficulties. This would help them to be more tolerant in later life, surely? Of course, there are some nasty people in this world who would never learn. I do know a girl who attends a school that is dedicated to children with dyspraxia - it's run by the Quakers - and she's flourishing there. For her sake, it's good that she's being taught apart. It very much depends on the individual's own personality and circumstances.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Postby monkey » Fri Jul 01, 2005 10:49 pm

you are right, but the intentions on a school wouldnt be just for those with learning disorders. just any one who was getting bullyed and becase alot of the time it is people with learning disorders it would specilise in that area. Also hopeing to go about things so that the schools reputation isnt a 'specil school' but just another school. i do see what you mean and yes it will be something we'll be looking at as we plan how to go about it. currently we have managed to get hold of a room and have been donated 10 computors that have been set up. soon we'll also have an internet conection there which is very helpfull for resuch etc. i am giving all my books so we can start up our own mini libary, and i also do realise what weve got is only a start. but its better than nothing.

yes somthing does need to happen to curve the bullying. a school wouldnt be a cure and i would never put it forward as the way to solve the problem. but bullying is something that starts way down in pre school and continues on often into the work place. i agree that if somethinig starts to be done is school to raise understanding it may help, but people tend to go oh yeah and then the next day ignore all theve learned and continue on. no one will ever truly understand what its like to walk in the shoes of some one with something like Dyspraxia unless thats exactly what they do. your book is probebly the closest thing that pepole are going to experement (good one on that too) to understanding it. i have only read what has been said about your book myself as in order to get it over here you have to order it in and that ends up costing you around 50$. which isnt too bad (but out of my reach) so ive asked my parents if they want to get it for my birthday :) im quiet keen on reading it especialy becuase some people on here have had a contribution too it.
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:09 pm

Why should people who are different have to be segregated and apart, when they're not the ones who've done anything? Should black people have to go to separate schools o protect them from racism.
People who have done nothing wrong shouldn't have to be ashamed. Nobody should have to hide from the "norms" because they're different. It's the people who treat them unjustly who should change. If a person has a problem that necessitates a totally different type of education, then they should go to a special school. But victims of sadistic bullies shouldn't have to hide.

The pregnant girl's story is interesting. There are some schools which provide childcare for teenage mums while theystudy. They help mothers get qualifications, and also teach them about parenting. I think there should be more of these schools. Teenage parents need help.
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Postby monkey » Mon Jul 04, 2005 4:56 am

your right they shouldnt have to hide, but it will be a long time befor changes thak place in the hearts of thouse who bully, it will take a lot of work and meanwhile there is no safe place for thouse who are being bulled. its less of a hideing place. if a christain teenager wanted to go to a free christain school to escape post modenism and evolution they can go, same as a child who gets bullyed could go to a school where bullying is not tolerated in any shape or form. from this could campains against bullying in schools. but starting from the ground up is always a good place. first one plase where bullying is not tolerated... and then the world:) :wink: :twisted:
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Mon Jul 04, 2005 7:56 am

monkey wrote:if a christain teenager wanted to go to a free christain school to escape post modenism and evolution they can go, same as a child who gets bullyed could go to a school where bullying is not tolerated in any shape or form.


First of all, I go to a Christian school and we mdo learn both about post modernism and evolution. The curriculum is the same as in any other school, we just have extra things like a school chapel, visits from priests, fundraising for charities like CAFOD (Catholic Fund for Overseas Development) masses in school and a Christian Outreach group which does voluntary work.

Secondly, bullying shouldn't be tolerated in any school. If we run and hide, we are letting the bullies get away with it.

I don't think a separate school will help. However, I think maybe some kind of drop-in centre for kids with learning difficulties, bullying problems or other issues would.
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Postby monkey » Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:38 pm

i also went to a christain school, we were taught about how evolution and post mosenism was wrong. i have no problem with this, i was mearly pointing out that if there are schools tailer made out there for different peoples needs why cant there be one with no bullying. there are ones for different cultures langages and belifes. this would be simply for people who didnt want to be in a bullying enviroment. as for bullying actuly stoping, i can't see this happening any time in the near future, mean while there a kids suffering at there schools with no were else to go. as for the drop in centre, we already have one of those running here(im involved in this myself), but whats been now said by them is its all good and well having a drop in centre for after school, but nothings changing for them in school, so there droping out of school. this intier idea was entierly based on there opinions and thoughts, sugesting a safe school would mean they would stay in school. we are simply picking up from there and doing something to move towards it.
it would then be a platform to do something about it in other schools.
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Tue Jul 05, 2005 1:23 pm

I'm sorry that the school you went to had such a narrow curriculum. State schools aren't allowed to do this in Britain, although there are some private schools run by an organisation called "The Brotherhood" that have a very restrictive style of education.
I see your point, but I don't see any way of guaranteeing that there will be no bullying in this school. I think that some bullying is inevitable in any school. Furthermore, How would you control who gets admitted to the school? I'm assuming that nearly everyone would like to be in a school where there's no bullying. So how would you decide which were the special cases that needed this school most?
I don't think that there is any point pretending that bullying is ever going to disappear completely, but I think that more can be done in schools to prevent it.
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Postby monkey » Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:30 pm

its going to start of very small, with one class of up to 20. one of the main principles we will be aiming for will be respect. if we can just learn to respect our fellow human beings it would be a start. in the group in which we get up to 60 people coming, there is only one rule, which is respect for each other. this has worked very well and everyone is accepted, this even gets comented on as people are amazed that they have found somewhere where they are accepted for who they are. there is no bullying in this group, sometimes theres a fight over a broken up relationship but these things usualy manage to work them selves out with the support of the group. you could say that theve became a kind of team offereing suport to each other. this same idea would be the basis for a school. starting of very small and eventuly growing. as for who, well to start of with were starting with the people that we directly work with. we will then grow and expand as we can to fit the needs of thouse who would gain from this kind of invironment. we havnt gone to much into the area of who would qalify, but as its starting of with corispondence being its main teaching sauce we arnt expecting to many to be intersted. we are expecting to start out as an alternitive to droping out of school in the avoidence of bullying.

my frind who is pregnant has just informed me she is going to do a young parents corse, but doesnt know if she will be able to return to school, but is considering corespondence as an option. becuase of this a class with tutors to work with each student on an indervidual basis would be perfect for her situation. unfortunetly we are not up and running yet as lots of back ground work has to be done. but where on our way. small beggings, but big protential.

building on the toughts on doing something active in schools, there deffintly needs to be more awearness, i read some where that 75% of people bullyed in schools have a coordination problem. this is a large gorup of people who are suffering, and something needs to be done. but going about it in a way inwhich will impact on people so they think about there behaviour beyound the space of a day or week is diffiuclt.
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:49 am

monkey wrote:its going to start of very small, with one class of up to 20. one of the main principles we will be aiming for will be respect. if we can just learn to respect our fellow human beings it would be a start. in the group in which we get up to 60 people coming, there is only one rule, which is respect for each other.


That sounds like a good principal. It is just such a shame that respect for each other isn't prevalent in every school.
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Postby monkey » Thu Jul 07, 2005 1:31 pm

it is a great shame that one person can treat another so badly. there is very little respect in this world.
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Fri Jul 08, 2005 11:09 am

monkey wrote:it is a great shame that one person can treat another so badly. there is very little respect in this world.


I know. I read an article in the times yesterday about disabled children in Africa. 10% of them have disabilities, mainly due to illnesses, aciidents or warfre. They are treated really badly and considered "cursed"
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Postby monkey » Sat Jul 09, 2005 12:18 pm

thats horrible! and blind. if a person will treat a person badly becuase there 'different' then that person is the disabled one ruther than the person who is 'different'. They have disabled them selves in there hearts and minds when there actions are distorted by those places. belifs built on discrimination need to be broken, but i have little hope on this ever happening. also discimination seems to partly work in circules, in which a group of people disciminate against a group of people and treat them very badly, and then becuase of the way they have been treated the disciminated group then discriminate against the other group that disciminated. there needs to be realisation(of the blatent stupidity of all forms of discimination and bullying) accnologement(or responsibility) heeling and forgivness for this to every truly take place. untill somthing drastic happens in the hearts of every man woman and child on this planet, then bullying and discrimination will continue. my heart has the same tendency for hurt and there for anger at my fellow human beings as any one else. i fully admit that the bullying i have recived has made me feel angry at bullys, i admit that being betten by 'christains' has made me angry at the hipocrisy in the church. i admit fully that the rasism pointed at me by both the main peoples of my country (im a mix) has lead me to hate rasism, but this hate has truned to anger against the people who treated me in this way and makes me no different or better than them. i am as gilty as every one else. its this reflection that has lead me to belive that there is little hope. for only through selflessness can things be the way they would need to be. any type of selflessness means acepting the bullying or discimination and not retaliating in anger or hurt. so were all doomed the darkness that is eating our world alive will continue, we can only do our best, and have hope, which seems impossible.
so here i am agian worked up into a depresive heep, how quikly my thoughts tern to darkness and death. but how can a person say that 'in every darkness there is a light' when the darkness smathers the light, and leaves it as a small wiff of smoke. what good is smoke but to sting your eyes and leave you chokijng on your own pathetic efforts.

note to all: i will regret writing this when i wake up tommorrow.
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:59 am

monkey wrote:so were all doomed the darkness that is eating our world alive will continue, we can only do our best, and have hope, which seems impossible.
so here i am agian worked up into a depresive heep, how quikly my thoughts tern to darkness and death. but how can a person say that 'in every darkness there is a light' when the darkness smathers the light, and leaves it as a small wiff of smoke. what good is smoke but to sting your eyes and leave you chokijng on your own pathetic efforts.


Please don't think like that. There is goodness in everyone, it is just smothered by desires, fears and ignorance. It is possible to forgive people from the bottom of your heart without just lying back and accepting that what they do is right. Look at Nelson Mandela, look at Gandhi. The problems they overcame were far bigger and more far-reaching that what you're fighting against, but they still managed. Don't lose faith in humanity.
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Postby parnassus » Tue Jul 12, 2005 1:14 pm

Paradoxically, forgiveness is a powerful weapon. People can't hurt you if you immediately forgive them for what they've done - it would be like trying to bite the wind.

I would do well to follow my own philosophy. I've just had a heated discussion with my dad about anti-Muslim discrimination. I've lived in Saudi Arabia all my life (even when I'm studying in England, my mind is back in Al-Khobar) and - unlike many expatriates - I took the trouble to educate myself about the surrounding religion and culture. Imagine my disgust and shame when I looked over the presentation that another expatriate girl in my boarding school had prepared for her GCSE English oral. It consisted of a pack of cruel and derogatory lies. She refused to change what she had written ("My dad says its all true") and went into her English exam to paint a dark and horrific picture of Muslim Arabs. She made them sound evil and twisted and backward. I was furious that she had deliberately gone in there to reinforce people's stereotypes.

My dad, on the other hand, calmly said that I couldn't possibly expect to change every bigot in the world. He is right...it just hurts to admit it.
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