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Sun Dec 01, 2013 7:22 pm

This is a request for advice.

I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia, Hypersensitivity and Memory Disorders when I was 11. I was so glad, because I finally knew why I was so weird and odd at school. I soon realised that just because I knew why, doesn't mean other people will.

I was more recently diagnosed with scoliosis at the age of 16 (now) and the 16 years of pain I have ignored are flooding back. (that last word was punintentional)

After all that, I find life very difficult to enjoy. In fact, I don't any more. The only aspect of it I enjoy are having a loving family, an awesome God and brilliant friends who attempt to support me. However, none of these help me enjoy the rest of my pain called life.

Is there anyone on these forums who have had similar experiences and have walked out happy? If so, how did you do it?

Re: Depression

Wed Dec 04, 2013 2:18 pm

Hi boopidoop

Firstly welcome to the forum.

Sorry that you are not enjoying life. I, myself do have depression so I know what it is like. I strongly suggest that you go to your doctors and talk to them about your feelings as they can help you with anti-deperssion tablets and organise counselling for you.

I also find having a stress ball, writing stories/poems and having a list of things of positive things in life helps me when i feeling quite down

Re: Depression

Wed Dec 11, 2013 8:11 pm

Hello and welcome to the forum Boopidoop. Like Wadey, I know how depression can feel. I have never been officially diagnosed with depression but only because I have always been too scared to seek help. I reckon, looking at the diagnostic criteria and at my background, I have been living with depression for the past 10 years. I am 27 now and know I need to seek help. Please don't leave it as long as I have. You deserve to feel happy in life.

As for positives, like Wadey, I have a positives list that I can look at when I am feeling low and I also find reflecting on positive memories helps too.

Re: Depression

Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:15 pm

Hi Paddington here! welcome to the forum.
I was never officially diagnosed either (don't think you would ever call it proper depression) although I Did have huge problems when I was about 10 ish ( I am really not proud of some of the things I attempted to do) anyway the one thing that got me through it all was the thought things will get better someday. Yes this might have been a low point in my life but I tried to stay positive.

Talking about it helps a lot. My mum was becoming a councillor at the time an she helped me through it.

A song also helped for me When ever I was having a super bad day I used to sing " I have a dream a song to sing, to help me cope with anything if you see the wonder of a fairy tale you can take future even if you fail" and " always look on the bright side of life".

Whenever the memories come flooding back I imagine containing them in a box and padlocking it then shoving it deep inside myself, I try to let out the anger in manage able proportions a little at a time and over time it is not as bad.

Also I tried to forgive some of the people who were bringing up the memories as hard as it seemed at the time I am glad I did and it makes you feel a lot better.

Re: Depression

Wed Dec 18, 2013 12:19 am

I've had recurrent depression ever since I was ten or eleven or so. (I'm twenty-six now.) The first bout came when school started to get really hard (I could no longer keep up in class) and my dad got a new job nine hundred miles away from everyone I knew. That was overwhelming and I felt frozen and scared. I started to comfort-eat and put on quite a bit of weight, oscillated from not being able to sleep at all and sleeping far too much, felt tired all the time, kept bursting into tears, getting very touchy and obsessive, etc. At the time I didn't realise this was depression. The bullying at my next school made it worse, although not at the time - it was only after my parents withdrew me from there (after trying everything they could to sort out the bullying with the school) that it hit me. I just crashed. I remember feeling too spaced out and dislocated from life to care about anything much, I wasn't eating now, wasn't interested in anything. The depressive thoughts have followed me since then - fear of the future, paranoia about people not liking me, feeling rubbish about myself and my abilities, etc. They're not with me all the time, but sometimes they come to visit and give me a good whack round the head. My early twenties were particularly bad. I was facing a lot of stress at the time, and I think anyone would have become depressed in those circumstances. Hopefully it will never again be as bad as it was then.

What helped me the most was learning that you really don't have to believe everything you think. ;) Thoughts are not all-powerful. I had two good therapists, one who worked with me in a very logical way on challenging all the sweeping negative thoughts ("I'm a failure") and learning to see things in a different light; and one who looked with me at my past and helped me to make sense of all the experiences that had contributed to the mental health problems. I'm actually a pretty happy person most of the time, and learning to understand myself better has been a big part of that. Depression is no longer so frightening or so draining if you can understand it and realise that you do have the upper hand here. As you get better at understanding this, you will have lots of times when you stood up to your depression and won to add to your bank of memories, and this makes any new difficulties feel easier to cope with.

Learning to enjoy small things is also important. Maybe you can't have a day without pain yet, but perhaps you can have an afternoon, or an hour. I found that swimming helped me a lot - even on days when I didn't want to get out of bed, if I could just manage to get myself to the pool, I would come out feeling a bit better. Music was also a big comfort, and children's books. I have a huge stash of children's books that are guaranteed to perk me up a bit. They're easy to read (my brain goes a bit like a scrambled egg when I'm depressed) and they come with lots of cheerful memories attached. I like Paddington's ideas too.

Re: Depression

Tue Dec 24, 2013 1:47 am

My closest friend is currently going through something similar to you. She has had digestive problems for a few years now that causes a lot pain and occasional days where she is unable to eat. Last year she was diagnosed with depression (although I believe she had been depressed long before that but just never wanted to seek help) I believe her depression was actually mainly from other personal reasons but I think the illness' she had were contributing factors.
I can only advise to talk to someone. You have said you have a loving family and supportive friends and I know that can be such a massive helping hand in dealing with depression. I don't have depression myself, but I know my friend (although still suffering quite badly) is getting better. With therapy and some medication she seems to be getting better. There are still really bad days and super amazing days but overall she is moving up.
And although I don't have depression, I do have autism and can get overwhelmed and I know that after I actually told a teacher how much a struggled some days things got easier because people made allowances. (E.g I once came to school and I fell asleep in a lesson and my teacher just told me to go to the library and go to sleep and they would wake me up later).
So I guess biggest tip it to talk to someone you trust.

And side note, when I was in year 7, my appendix burst and before the surgery (well before they realised it was an appendicitus) there was 4 weeks of continual pain. Some relief I got, I had a special pillow that a friend bought me and I guess probably for psychological reasons the pillow offered alot of comfort and felt like it lessened the pain. I also use to in general find things to distract me e.g reading, playing guitar hero, playing piano, watching movies, puzzles use to distract me a lot. rubix cubes and sudokus.

I'm not sure if anything I just went on about it any use to you but I hope it is. :)

Re: Depression

Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:30 pm

Thanks guys, that is really encouraging! I have tried some of these, they really helped!

Another quick question, yet again for advice, what do you do if you get angry at people for not having the tiniest inkling of understanding, or even a glimmer of attempt to do so, if you have those moments?

Re: Depression

Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:02 pm

I silently scream in my head for about 3 seconds. Then its much easier to calm down. Remember its not only you going through this. Then try again to explain. dumb it down as much as possible

Re: Depression

Wed Dec 28, 2016 4:42 am

I have tried some of these, they really helped!
genting club
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