is she 'simple'?

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

do people mistake you as 'simple'? or treat you as if you are stupid.

often
7
41%
sometimes
10
59%
 
Total votes : 17

is she 'simple'?

Postby monkey » Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:26 am

wednesday night my younger sister had a friend stay. the next day my sister told me that her friend had asked her wether i was 'simple'. she told her that i wasnt, but it can get anoying when people who dont know you treat you as if you are stupid. very few people who know me treat me like this, but you have to wonder why people make these assumptions. i realise that we all make them every day about many different things, But i still wish they wernt made about me and in this area. ive been treated as if im stupid for a very long time, im sick and tiered of it and so react to people who treat me in this way. how do i go about making it clear that i am not 'simple', so that both myslef and the people making the assumption can save ourselves some imbarisment?
what are your experiences of people treating you like this?
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Postby monkey » Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:28 am

i also had a never option but it didnt work
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Postby madame_tigre » Sat Jul 30, 2005 8:31 am

I used to get treated like that all the time, not so much now, but it still happens! :x When I'm being patronised or belittled, it really depresses me and makes me feel worthless.

Has anyone ever been treated like they're deaf before? I have. They must think that because I speak quietly, I must hear things quietly as well. (SWEARWORD! :x ) People say things about me when I'm only about 2 yards away from them.

In the past, I've been with someone and another person comes over and asks the person I'm with a question about myself. I always hope that they get it wrong. I could have answered that question myself. I wish people weren't so alarmed by my shyness, I have a voice inside me and that voice has a lot to say. Verbally expressing myself is the difficult part.
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Postby parnassus » Sat Jul 30, 2005 9:44 am

I agree. My autistic nephew hardly ever speaks, but that doesn't make him simple. Not being able to speak is not the same as having nothing to say!

Like monkey, strangers often take me for a dimwit. To be fair, they do have some justification - I refuse to make eye contact (don't ask me to do it, I can't), twiddle a pencil obsessively, and rock back and forth in my seat. To top it all off I am not the world's best conversationalist, unless the topic happens to be literature or something similar.

My RS teacher used to make us swap test papers and mark each other's work. I'd always get twelve out of twenty, or something quite mediocre, because I was too clever for the people who marked my paper - if they didn't understand a word that I had used, or know of a little detail that I'd thrown it, they marked me down! A roommate of mine actually gloated over my low test result one day - she had corrected my paper. I insisted on getting the textbook out and showing her that I had been right all along, and she wen't ballistic. The next day, she informed everyone how poor I was at RS. At my school, the majority of students who take RS aren't all that bright - they take it because the teacher is very popular and it's seen as a subject for the cool crowd - so that came as a bit of an affront to me, especially as I was fully aware that I was one of the best in the class. Luckily, my GCSE result made that clear to them all.

Now that I have a reputation for cleverness, people who don't know me all that well are more inclined to interpret my little quirks as signs of endearing eccentricity rather than blatant stupidity, so it has got better. But I will never forget how irritating it was.

Monkey, would you like to write a creative piece on this for the Dyspraxic Teens' anthology? I think you'd do it very well.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Postby monkey » Sat Jul 30, 2005 10:03 am

yes people have talked loudly, and very slowly. people will say something to a person im with meant for me. my friends have had a tendencey to exclude me form coversations taht i aparently wont understand, which is news to me. at one stage my teacher and teacher aid who spend her time in the classroom next to me trying to 'help' becuase i was 'slow' used to have conversations about me in front of me, even to go so far as to talk about my inteligence or so called lack of. every now and then they would stop and ask me questions, this involved leaning down right infront of me and speaking loudle, slowly and in as simpil langage that they seemed able to produce. i had so much trouble with speeking that at the time there was no way for me to explain that i could infact understand. getting words from my head into speech was almost impossible. So they continued with there opions of my lack of inteligence and i continued as i had always, traped and very fustraited.
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Postby monkey » Sat Jul 30, 2005 10:05 am

what exactly whould you like me to write about?
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Postby parnassus » Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:13 pm

i had so much trouble with speeking that at the time there was no way for me to explain that i could infact understand. getting words from my head into speech was almost impossible.


It would be interesting if you could write about this - how it feels to have the language inside your head, but not be able to get it out, and how people treated you as slow in consequence. That would encourage people who work with verbally dyspraxic children to remember that there is brain in there - as well as being very encouraging for the parents of these children.

Not to mention the children themselves.
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Postby monkey » Sat Jul 30, 2005 9:59 pm

ok, i will write it.
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Postby medrich11 » Sun Jul 31, 2005 2:36 pm

I have been treated like I'm deaf before. During the period when I was being bullied, people would insult me halfway accross the room and even right next to me, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them. Even I cuold sneak up behind them and overhear them then say I'm not deaf without them noticing.
will continue later going to a carnival.
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Postby bibliophile » Tue Aug 02, 2005 1:40 pm

How i respond to being called stupid varies is i'm in a good mood i laugh it of with 'My social worker says i'm special' in a simpering tone but it depends if someone is trying to call me stupid my new resolution is to walk away but it is proving to be more difficult than i thought!
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Postby parnassus » Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:52 pm

Bibliophile, here are a few classic, time-honoured responses, all of them favourites of mine:

"Are you a pot or a kettle?" (Can be said in biting or humorous tones, depending on the type of person who addressed you.)

"Please don't talk about what you don't understand." (To be said in tones of great boredom, with a knowing half-smile. This can lead to a gentle explanation of dyspraxia.)

Or, if you really are dealing with a complete nincompoop:

"How would you know? You wouldn't recognise intelligence if it bit you on the backside."*

*Note: I would never advocate rudeness. It is important to be polite. But if you are being bullied, a few good put-downs can come in handy.

Work hard to prove yourself. One day, all those idiots will know that they were in the wrong.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Postby C » Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:52 pm

I'm rarely called stupid now, on my course at college I'm known as one of the most intelligent because I do well in class, I would even go so far as to say that I'm a bit geeky. It was a different question in school, though I was in most of the bottom groups (even for English I was in the lower middle out of four, which was wrong because I've always been good at English and my SAT mark was higher or at the same level than most of the people in the upper middle). I also received a lot of special help for the subjects I found difficult-I receive none at college.

Some people think I'm stupid, some people think I'm clever but lazy and some people know I'm just me :D
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Sun Aug 07, 2005 2:58 pm

I went through a stage of being paranoid that people thought I was stupid. Whenever I walked past people who were laughing, I assumed they were laughing at me. This had a lot to do with being a victim of several cruel "jokes" (I use the inverted commas because I didn't find the situation very funny).I'm academically intelligent, but I can be very guillable and two people at my school took advantage of that in a very unkind way.
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Postby parnassus » Sun Aug 07, 2005 3:14 pm

Gosh, reading 1337's post was like looking in a mirror. I am apparently naive - I rarely look for ulterior motives. A few people used to take advantage of that. The worst incident came during Year 7, when I was very much a loner. A girl heard me talking about a litter of kittens I had and she got all excited. She started by chatting to me about cats, and then the conversation moved onto other things. She seemed pleasant and genuinely happy to be speaking to me. I thought I had finally made a friend, so I invited her home. When she came, she gushed over the kittens, and asked outright if she could have one. Fool that I was, I let her choose one. She never so much as looked at me after that - her farewell at the gate was extremely rude.

A few weeks later, she staged a very loud conversation in my hearing about how she had 'got rid' of her kitten because she wanted a parrot instead, and her parents wouldn't let her have both. I dread to think what she did with the poor thing. :cry:
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Sun Aug 07, 2005 4:49 pm

That's so unfair. *Offers virtual chocolate of comfort*. People are awful sometimes.
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