Feel free to debate any issues you wish here. Warning: The topics discussed and their content may on occassion offend some.
Wed Nov 09, 2005 8:48 pm
What do you guys think about smacking children?
As a student of Child Care, this is a subject close to my heart.
For Earrly Years practitioners, there is no question of physical punishment as it is illegal. Smacking is also illegal in schools, (outlawed in state schools in 1986.) However parents can still smack
A while ago, the House of Lords rejected a ban on complete smacking and backed a comprimise allowing parents to be able to smack as lllong at it does not cause bruises, redness of the skin or mental harm.
I disagree with smacking children because I do not feel it teaches them how to peacefully resolve their conflicts. They learn that violence can be an acceptable way in dealing with someone who is annoying you. Research (Rohner et al 1991) shows that smacking can cause emotional tensions in the famiyl and teach children to be agressive.
If a child is in danger, for example, they are about to run into the road, yanking them back is acceptable and in fact instinctive. However I believe if children's behaviour is bad they should be told why it is bad instead of just being smacked. Don't adults want to teach their children that violence is wrong?
I accept, though that there are occasions where parents mya be filled with so much stress and anger that something inside them just snaps. I am not a parent, although I have experience with children, and when if you have been up all night with a screaming baby and have to deal with a four-year-old who will just not do as they are told I can accept something might just go and you might lose your temper. Many loving parents smack their children. I do not think they should be jailed for this but I do think they need to deal with their anger in appropraite ways.
A definition of child abuse is:
That the child is harmed.
And that somebody intended the harm.
Smacking children sometimes fits the description above.
Children are smaller and more vulnerable and in need of protection than adults yet they have less rights. How unjust is this? If a mother or father hit their eighteen-year-old, this would not be considered acceptable in our society. Some say that teenagers can be just as annoying if not more than children. How come hitting children is still considered okay.
Hitting children has to stop in my opinion!!!
Wed Nov 09, 2005 8:50 pm
I don't agree with smacking children.
Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:26 pm
Hmm. I'm unsure about this. I was smacked as a child, and I think it was effective punishment. I also don't think that the majority of children who are smacked go on to develop psychological problems.
But 'smacking' is still a very nebulous term, despite the government's attempt to clarify it. It is open to exploitation. Secondly, I think smacking only serves as an effective punishment in a home where children are praised for their successes and their best efforts. If parents dole out punishment, but never praise, then smacking won't work. The children will have no reason to feel remorse.
Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:32 pm
Why punish with pain? There are ways just as effective. I would be more inclined to behave if the punishment was not being allowed to play on my Gamecube for a month rather than a smack. It does encourage the idea of violence being allowed as young children will not necessarily recognise the distinction.
Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:41 pm
what do you mean by smack?
I was spanked when i was younger and It never hurt me psycological but I know alot of people that was spanked as a child and they did not develop psychological problems and we call it corporal punishment.
school do not use it but parents do.
Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:51 pm
I think the purpose of the smack is to humiliate rather than to hurt, as well as to produce a knee-jerk reaction to a certain event - operant conditioning.
Thu Nov 10, 2005 6:10 am
Against. It is understandable that parents want to slap children on the buttocks sometimes for doing something wrong, but it is better to do it the Full House way and talk it out.
Or, if they are a younger kid who doesn't understand the talk out part yet, there is always time-out. I personally got slapped on the butt by my parents once. I don't remember it so I guess that shows how effective it was on me. My parents only did it when they were really frusterated. I think my older sister got the most slaps on the butt because my parents were less experienced and probably more impatient because of her being the first child. Also, she was a little more of a trouble maker as a kid.
She got more time outs than I did. My little sis, as far as I can remember only got it once. I don't agree with it and my parents use the talk method or the "your grounded" method most of the time. I've never been grounded and my sisters hate this fact because they have.
Thu Nov 10, 2005 6:38 am
When i was smacked, it HURT a lot
I am sure mum used too much force
Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:20 am
I will not smack my children when I have them because it is likely they would go flying across the room! Besides, there are other ways to humiliate.
Thu Nov 10, 2005 9:30 am
I have never been grounded - that was something my parents were totally against. It wouldn't have worked with me, anyway. Not go outdoors? Stay inside and read books?
Thu Nov 10, 2005 10:21 am
I think jailing a child's parent would probably harm the child more than smacking.
Grounding wouldn't have worked with me either. Words were usually enough to control me.
Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:10 pm
Thirteen-thirty-seven wrote:Grounding wouldn't have worked with me either. Words were usually enough to control me.
Yeah, that's why I think I wasn't ever grounded... Plus I didn't do much bad stuff that my parents knew about. My sisters were more open about it...
Fri Nov 11, 2005 9:39 am
i dont compleatly disagree with smaking. i disagree with it being misused. i think that smaking can be a good thing but there is so much protential for it to go rong in the rong hands. as it is a parental right how shure can you be that a parent is not abusing there power. thats why i answered against smaking.
"I think jailing a child's parent would probably harm the child more than smacking. "
i dont think jailing is always the answer but taking a child from an abusive home is often the best thing to do. my nana threatened my parents with contacting social welfear with what she new. she never did, instead she ran away to australia, she returneed 6 years later becuase people were contacting her saying that we kids wernt being fed, i feel that she was a bit late to help. when i firtst found that out i was angry. becuase i wished that intsead of running away that she had done somthing. but she didnt. i would hope that other adults no mater how afraid they are or even if they wonder if it is bad for a child to be seperated form there parents that they would do somthing. people did notice the brusis on our bodys, they new somthing was happening. No one ever did anything other than talk about there suspisions. there were times when my life was in danager, im lucky to be here today and if a parent goes to jail for a few years for child abuse its better than going away for life for murder of that child.
Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:05 am
I am really sorry that that happenned to you, Candy. ((virtual hugs)) You are very brave to have come through that.
I agree that something should have been done about that abuse. Wuith abuse like that, something has to be done. What I meant to say was that if all a parent does is smack their child once, they shouldn't be imprisoned. Sorry I didn't explain myself properly.
Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:30 am
i agree if that a parent shouldnt go to jail for smaking.
things are very good now. i am back liveing with both my parents who are back together. my mum has had a diagnosis that was different to what they were trying to medicate her for. with the right medication she is a different person to the women i grew up with as a mother. i have forgiven her. somtimes its hard and i feel like being angry at her. but she cant remember most of what she has done, i can only remember bits and peices and what ive been told. there are large blanks in my memorie. i can remmebre up to a point then theres nothing. i dont know what hapeened after those points. my mum has had troubles with giult. shes glad she cant remember becuase she dosnt think she could take it if she could. i try and treat her as a different person. but that doesnt change that i wish that some one had done somthing. especialy the people who new. i wouldnt have wanted my mum to go to jail, some one steping in and doing somthing and maby taking us of them for awile would have been good. when i think about all the times me and my family almost became another statistic of a neglectful mentle health system it makes me feel sick in my stomic.
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