Divorce/Separation

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If people are unhappy in a marriage, should they separate/divorce or stay together?

separate/divorce
9
90%
Stay together
0
No votes
separate/divorce except if they have children in which case they should stay together 'for the kids'
1
10%
 
Total votes : 10

Divorce/Separation

Postby C » Sat Dec 31, 2005 1:03 pm

'The rate of divorce and separation has continued to rise in the UK since the dramatic increase began at the beginning of the 1970s following new divorce legislation. If current trends continue, around 40% of marriages being presently formed will end in divorce. Britain and Denmark have the highest rates in Europe, but these are lower than the US'
From Babies and Young Children (2001) By Beaver M et al

What do you think about this? If people are unhappy in a marrigae should they seperate/divorce or should they stay together and try to work things out?

I personally think that if things are really bad then they should separate/divorce but try to do so in an amicable way if they have children. There are arguments that people with children should stay together 'for the sake of the children' but I believe that it is better for everyone if divorce/separation occurs however things stay amicable with the parents. I know evidence suggest that children with parents together do better at school, are less likely to turn to crime etc. including those children whose parents are in an unhappy marriage than those whose parents divorce however I believe that whether or not the parents maintain a good relationship after the divorce is the key thing here.

My parents are divorced and it does create problems for me and it has had a negative effect. I'm not saying that if I had my way I wouldn't rather they loved each other and were together but I prefer my life now to how it was when they were together...I think parents keeping marriages together when they aren't in love are creating a hostile, unfriendly environment for children and this will have negative effects on them.

Having said that, I know some people get married and get divorced and just don't seem to care and I think this is wrong too. And it's hard for people after a divorce and it's hard for children and it all gets more complicated with the introducation of stepmothers and stepfathers and stepsisters and stepbrothers and half-sisters and half-brothers... But for all those couples who try and try and it just isn't working, I'd say divorce/separate

It really annoys me when I read about people who are happily married who say people in unhappy marriages should stay together. How can they possibly judge when they don't know what it's like?

You may think it ironic that I post this at Christmas Time, a time of love and family life however the most divorce/separation now occurs in January; it is thought the stress of Christmas brings it on![/i]
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Postby fuzzy » Sat Dec 31, 2005 4:05 pm

My parents split when I was about 12- yet they stayed together in the same house until I was 14, which created LOADS of rows, riased voices and bitterness..... so I guess in a way, my dad moving out made everything much better (for a while at least) as the atmosphere was less strained. I think that if your not happy in a relationship that you should split with the person- even with kids; as if you stay in the same house it only makes things uglier especially for the children that your trying to protect!!
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Postby Black_Haired_Angel » Mon Jan 02, 2006 4:29 pm

i think (persoanl belife) unless it's gotten so wrogn that you can't sort stuff out you should try and work things out btu if iit fails then dviorce!!
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Postby parnassus » Tue Jan 03, 2006 1:25 pm

I don't know. I think people who are totally unsuited to each other rush into marriage and then treat divorce as an easy get-out clause - just look at the examples set by certain celebrities, many of whom have had four or five husbands. It's not meant to be that way. I favour divorce, but only as an absolute last resort when all forms of reconciliation have been tried.
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Postby fuzzy » Tue Jan 03, 2006 1:31 pm

I think that people get married far too young today, and that many rush into a marriage without thinking of the consequenses. You should only get married if you relise that it means for life, and not just until you get sick of the person and want to move on! Perhaps marrage in our society is out dated; maybe we are too liberal today to want to bind together with another for all eternity- what does everyone think?
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Tue Jan 03, 2006 2:48 pm

fuzzy wrote:I think that people get married far too young today.


Maybe some people do get married too young. However, in general, people seem to be getting married later and later.
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Postby kitty_cute » Tue Jan 03, 2006 10:13 pm

Yeah, I agree with Fuzzy there, marriage is just rushed into, without really thinking, in the heat of the moment kind of thing, and its really just an accessory for some people, to show off to their mates, and maybe even marry someone richer unneccassarily because their in finacial trouble? *shrugs* My best friends parents split up, but got back together again.
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Postby Black_Haired_Angel » Wed Jan 04, 2006 12:50 pm

Thirteen-thirty-seven wrote:
fuzzy wrote:I think that people get married far too young today.


Maybe some people do get married too young. However, in general, people seem to be getting married later and later.


i agree with both staitments!
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Postby Black_Haired_Angel » Wed Jan 04, 2006 12:59 pm

my mum and dad married early (my dad was 21 and my mum was 20 when they go married) but they have lastred (this year will be 30 years!!!)

i think you can't rush in2 it and my mum and dad were engaged since my dad was 18 (roughly my age scary thoguth!!) so they did leave a long while!

yeah i feel like im on a big tangent!
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Postby kitty_cute » Wed Jan 04, 2006 1:34 pm

My parents have a 25 year age difference, and my mum married when she was 19, and it still has lasted, [28 years now I think?] but I know they were really in Love. My dad was married when he met my mum, and divorced her, so I dont think he had met the right person.
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