Truanting from school

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Truanting from school

Postby Creative » Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:08 pm

I think in some cases it is not right for the parent to go to prison. It depends why the child isn't in school.
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Postby Creative » Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:09 pm

I meant to set up a poll for this but I must have done it wrong. Perhaps someone could do it for me?
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Postby Steph » Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:28 pm

Vicky will probably be able to add a poll but I think only moderators can do that.

As for the topic, I agree. One of my friends from Kent has a younger brother with Aspergers Syndrome who also experiences acute anxiety. He was badly bullied at his mainstream secondary school and developed a severe school phobia which led to him truanting. His parents and older brother would try desparately to get him to school but he was so anxious at the prospect of going that he would become increasingly verbally and physically aggressive every morning. His dad has Multiple Sclerosis and his mobility is restricted so that made it even harder. His parents were threatened with court action-the school did not understand AS and just thought they were giving him permission to truant and spoiling him. He now attends a small special school for children with autistic spectrum disorders and is doing fantastically-he has even won awards for 100% attendance! I think, in cases like this, taking the parents to court does little to improve the situation.
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Postby Creative » Thu Oct 02, 2008 7:35 pm

I wasn't at school for most of year 11 because I was being bullied. It would have been horrible if my parents had been blamed for the fact that I wasn't attending school.
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Postby Hermionefan5 » Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:11 pm

I know some teachers who are in my family so I am a bit biased when it comes to schools and learning. I think that if the child is being bullied, they probably should be taking it up with the administration or switching schools instead of staying away. This doesn't help the kid learn anything the teacher is teaching the rest of the class. Plus, I also think that if the bullying wasn't like, an everyday occurance, maybe the kid could also learn to stand up for him/herself. I have had bullies before and I still had to go to school. It helped me learn to deal with people like that.

On the other hand, if the kid is getting so bullied that he/she can't even enter the school without being picked on every single day and the parent has talked to administrators, other schools, etc., maybe it's time for the kid to be homeschooled or taught by a tutor, neighbor, etc. who has a homeschool liscence.

I don't think truancy is the right thing to do though, no matter what. Kids need to learn to read and write and so if you are staying home from school because you are afraid of what's out there it's not good. You probably aren't learning. So if the kid has to stay home from school, have them get a tutor or homeschool them so that it is not so unfair for them. Also, I would probably suggest that the kid go out and do things with others if they are at home in order to have good friends.

It may not be fair that some people are being sent to jail because of not sending their kids to school or not homeschooling them, but the kids have a right to learn in a safe environment and if neither of those things are working then the parents should be taking action instead of letting their kid hide from the world without learning. That does nobody any good.
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Re:

Postby Xenavire » Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:05 pm

Hermionefan5 wrote:I know some teachers who are in my family so I am a bit biased when it comes to schools and learning. I think that if the child is being bullied, they probably should be taking it up with the administration or switching schools instead of staying away. This doesn't help the kid learn anything the teacher is teaching the rest of the class. Plus, I also think that if the bullying wasn't like, an everyday occurance, maybe the kid could also learn to stand up for him/herself. I have had bullies before and I still had to go to school. It helped me learn to deal with people like that.

On the other hand, if the kid is getting so bullied that he/she can't even enter the school without being picked on every single day and the parent has talked to administrators, other schools, etc., maybe it's time for the kid to be homeschooled or taught by a tutor, neighbor, etc. who has a homeschool liscence.

I don't think truancy is the right thing to do though, no matter what. Kids need to learn to read and write and so if you are staying home from school because you are afraid of what's out there it's not good. You probably aren't learning. So if the kid has to stay home from school, have them get a tutor or homeschool them so that it is not so unfair for them. Also, I would probably suggest that the kid go out and do things with others if they are at home in order to have good friends.

It may not be fair that some people are being sent to jail because of not sending their kids to school or not homeschooling them, but the kids have a right to learn in a safe environment and if neither of those things are working then the parents should be taking action instead of letting their kid hide from the world without learning. That does nobody any good.


My family has a lot of teachers too, but I was truant all the time. I was suffering from severe depression, had been bullied every single day of my school life, and my parents tried over and over to get the schools to listen... They didn't, and my family was far too poor to be able to homeschool me... It doesnt matter that my IQ's 140 or so, I couldnt do the work because I was so stressed, so there was NO point going.

I really think that its unfair the parents get the blame, because I love my mum a lot, but I had to choose between not going and pretending a lot, or going and risk being more suicidal (personally I think snapping and killing myself would have been far more devastating... I couldnt take the thought of hurting my mum like that...)

Thankfully I found alternative ways to learn some of the more vital things (I got the rudimentary stuff from school and learned the rest myself, like I am an increbibly good reader) and I made friends outside school (or with ones in school that left) so I spent my time with them learning to socialize... I am probably stunted in some ways, and I likely missed out on a lot... But I am literate, which is the most important skill around.

I do wish I had learned some more, but never EVER will I let myself go through that again, nor would I force anyone else to if I knew they felt like I did (in fact my fiancee is going through that now, I told her to look for a new school because her teacher is the worst for it, and she has him for the next 2 years if she stays....) and if anyone says I should hve stood up to my bullies, I had low self esteem/self worth... I have only ever been able to stand up for others.... who cant defend themselves.

Sometimes truanting is the only way to stop yourself going nuts... Thats my take on the subject... Wish my family didnt think I was such a loser for doing it though.
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Re:

Postby chocolatefudgecake » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:12 am

Hermionefan5 wrote:maybe the kid could also learn to stand up for him/herself.

Sorry, but i dis-agree with this - i tried standing up for myself in junior school, and not only did it make things worse, but i got in trouble for it, whilst the bullies got off scot-free.

If students are truenting because of bullying, which i can see why they did, even if i didn't myself, them it should be the school that's to blame, not the parents.

Hermionefan5 wrote:I know some teachers who are in my family so I am a bit biased when it comes to schools and learning. I think that if the child is being bullied, they probably should be taking it up with the administration or switching schools instead of staying away. This doesn't help the kid learn anything the teacher is teaching the rest of the class.

Hermionefan5 wrote:On the other hand, if the kid is getting so bullied that he/she can't even enter the school without being picked on every single day and the parent has talked to administrators, other schools, etc., maybe it's time for the kid to be homeschooled or taught by a tutor, neighbor, etc. who has a homeschool liscence.


and if the school don't do anything? when i was at school the school rarely did anything about bullying, and i didn't want to switch schools, because i had friends at that school, and would find it difficult to make new friends - i only just managed at collage, and that was because most of them are similar to those i had at school. now my friends from school are my closest, and life wouldn't be the same if i weren't friends with them.
The only time the school did anything about bullying was when some boys were following my sister and i home hitting us with these long leafy things the picked from someones garden - and that was because my mum phoned the police first.

If it was like this for me and i didn't skip school, then i can only imagion how bad it must be for someone to truent. Therefore the government should punish the schools/change the system, not punish the parents.

Hermionefan5 wrote:I don't think truancy is the right thing to do though, no matter what. Kids need to learn to read and write and so if you are staying home from school because you are afraid of what's out there it's not good. You probably aren't learning. So if the kid has to stay home from school, have them get a tutor or homeschool them so that it is not so unfair for them. Also, I would probably suggest that the kid go out and do things with others if they are at home in order to have good friends.

so, if they can't afford home-schooling, and the children aren't learning anything at school anyway, the parent is supposed to do what?

Hermionefan5 wrote:It may not be fair that some people are being sent to jail because of not sending their kids to school or not homeschooling them, but the kids have a right to learn in a safe environment and if neither of those things are working then the parents should be taking action instead of letting their kid hide from the world without learning. That does nobody any good.

And if the parent's are unabled to do anything??? Say they've complained to the school, they can't afford to home-school them and say they can't move schools, what then?

From these points, my conclusion os that if bullying is the reason for omeone truenting, then they should examin how the school deals with bullying and what has been done.

And for those not truenting because of bullying, but who truent because they think it's cool, then they should look into why the student truents - if the pupils parent's have tried everything, then it's not their fault, then they need to come up with a method of getting them to stop truenting that doesn't punish the parent for what they have no control over.
If the pupil's parent's just let their child truent without trying to stop them, then it is the parent, and so maybe they should first get a warning, then a fine if they still don't try anything, then maybe they should be be put in prison.
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Re: Truanting from school

Postby Xenavire » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:42 am

I really like you chocofudgecake XD

Heres some examples of what my schools ignored.

Children in class using scissors to cut my clothes - age 6
Child in bus line rips my shirt for little reason other than me not wanting to give up my space in line - age 6
blatant theft of my property in front of teachers - ages 6 - 13
stone thrown at head - this I was incredibly lucky. they shouted "Hey asshole" first, and I instinctively raised my arm... Almost brke my arm, would have concussed me (a good fist sized stone) - age 11
Tripped on concrete while walking downhill (a good 20 degrees or more than from a flat path) almost broke both arms - age 14

...

I think for my own safety, not to mention my feeling suicidal at times, was more than enough to warrant my truanting. I also attended at leat 8 differnt schools, and was bullied in all of them, often by teachers as well.

schools should be shut down and examined by the overnment before being classed as safe for students.

Then again... maybe everyone just hates me?
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Re: Truanting from school

Postby chocolatefudgecake » Thu Mar 26, 2009 9:26 am

no, i'm pretty sure no-one here hates you. I don't at least - this is one of the few places where I like everyone.
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Re: Truanting from school

Postby Xenavire » Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:56 pm

Hehe thanks =3...

I'd hug you, but I dont really like touching anyone who isnt my fiancee =P

But its hard for me to understand how an entire school can dislike a person...
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Re: Truanting from school

Postby parnassus » Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:52 pm

Xenavire wrote:Hehe thanks =3...

I'd hug you, but I dont really like touching anyone who isnt my fiancee =P

But its hard for me to understand how an entire school can dislike a person...


I doubt that your entire school did dislike you. A lot of teenagers will sympathise with victims of bullying privately but will be very reluctant to go near them in case they get targeted themselves. Others just don't notice it. Yes, they see it happening, but because it isn't directly related to them they remain indifferent. Others join in with the bullying (or at least fail to condemn it) because they're too frightened to do anything else. Secretly they might be very uncomfortable with it and wish they had the guts to say no.

If you're being bullied it can feel as though the whole world is out to hurt you, and your head is more than ready to supply the evidence - a group of people giggling by the Coca-Cola machine turns into a group of nasty gossips all gleefully talking about you, a classmate swearing loudly in the street becomes a bully who is addressing you personally, a teacher who looks at you and then immediately looks away again must secretly be thinking what a hopeless case you are. Assumptions like this get mixed up with the actual bullying until it is no longer possible to tell what really happened and what is just speculation on the part of an upset and frightened brain. This is one of the most painful consequences of bullying, and it is possible that it might have happened to you.
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Re: Truanting from school

Postby Xenavire » Fri Mar 27, 2009 11:16 pm

Parnassus, I see clearly where you are coming from, but I was being subjected to open verbal abuse (directed at me.. I am the only person called Merlin in the entire city I think, let alone the school) and the teachers were no better.

However I am an unusual case I think... I cant be sure why though...

Most people do get paraniod, I realize, but I didnt have to be.
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Re: Truanting from school

Postby chocolatefudgecake » Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:10 pm

Xenavire wrote:Parnassus, I see clearly where you are coming from, but I was being subjected to open verbal abuse (directed at me.. I am the only person called Merlin in the entire city I think, let alone the school) and the teachers were no better.


I know what you mean - you know they're talking about you, because very few people have your name (my name is also very unusual in this country) yet when they realise you know what they're saying, they try and claim it's anouther person with you're name. I hated it when people did that.
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Re: Truanting from school

Postby druchi » Fri Apr 03, 2009 8:31 pm

I truant sometimes Im not going to lie sometimes its just for a lesson in which i really cant be botherd putting up with getting shouted at other times its just becuase of the bullies in my class who make it extremely discomforting to rememmber your breathing the same air as these people...
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Re: Truanting from school

Postby Syrons » Sun Apr 12, 2009 11:39 pm

I was bulled in some shape of form everyday when I was in school, I got shove everywhere into doors, into lockers, I was the kid who got penutted every time, to being kicked everywhere, to being knee in the stomach, to be being called a cheat in my exams, who had to sort there tie out, and guess what teacher come and look at ties, yes I wasn’t wearing my tie, detention Ian!... and much more but this isn’t a contest who got bullied the worse. I got fed up know and knew I wasn’t learning anything at all, for the whole five years of secondary school, which mattered. For me personally if I gave in, and leaved school, they would have won in my head... I would have had greater psychological problems, seeing people from my previous school, knowing they defeated me. Yes they bullied me all the time, one thing they can’t say, is they made me surrounded... Now I don’t trust anyone, not even many of my family members... I do judge people so much now, that making friends, sometimes feels a lose cause for myself... Still I try, but generally I don’t enjoy peoples company, I just not met people who I understand, who the sort of people, I look in a friend, I think them sort of people, are far few between, but at least I have one!
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