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Share any tips or ideas that you have which make living with dyspraxia easier.(Please start a new thread for each tip)
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Girl help?

Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:09 pm

OK the reason I started this 1 is because I read that 70% of dyspraxics are boys and they don't fit in because they'r not good at boy things like football ect. However what about us girls I don't fit in because I'm rubbish at netball and I'm not In with what's going on at school (gossip) and because instead of talking of fashion I read a book. Although I do hang out with a group of people who I fondly name the oddities because none of us fit in to 1 group e.g. chavers I do still find it hard to fit in. How about you other girls and problems or tips?

Re: Girl help?

Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:27 pm

I know how you feel. I was OK at primary school as there were a few girls in my class who, despite being younger than me (I was one of the oldest in my school year), "mothered" me and included me in conversations. Unfortunately I was the only person from my primary school to go on to my secondary school so I no longer had the support of these girls. As a consequence, I found myself struggling to fit in at secondary school. The other girls had become interested in teenage things like fashion, make up and boys and I had no interest in that sort of stuff. I became good friends with a bunch of Hong Kong Chinese students (I went to a boarding school). A lot of them struggled with speaking English but, even though we couldn't understand each other well, they never judged me and always accepted me for who I was, spinning in circles and all. I also struggled to fit in at sixth form college. I made a couple of friends there but we rarely socialised outside college so I still felt very lonely outside college. Things changed when I went to university. I found the people there were a lot more accepting of eccentricity and I quickly made friends with the girls in my halls of residence. I was still different to them-I don't like clubbing and they used to spend 3 or 4 nights a week in the first year at the on campus nightclub, I didn't follow the fashions while they did and I remained single while they went through boyfriends like men were dying out! However, they didn't judge me for it and seemed to appreciate my take on life. I know it's difficult now but, believe me, it does get better. As you grow out of the teen years, people are more likely to accept all different types of personalities and embrace you for it. I have always found that I prefer the company of males anyway-I find them, in general, a lot less judgemental and a lot less nasty than girls. Don't get me wrong-I have a lot of friends who are girls but, when it comes to talking through problems that aren't related to my love life, I always choose a male friend to talk to as they are less likely to judge me for it. When it comes to love life, I go for a female friend as there are some things you can only talk to other girls about! Things will improve. Even now, as a 23 year old woman, I am not into the latest fashions and I only wear make up on dates with my boyfriend but it doesn't affect my life. I am happy the way I am. If you remain true to yourself and content with who you are as a person, people will be attracted to your confidence regardless of whether you are similar to them and I'm sure that, even if you don't notice them, there are people even outside your group of friends who don't follow the crowd. You could try joining a club for something you're interested in-that could help you to make more friends. Good luck-my thoughts are with you.

Re: Girl help?

Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:34 pm

i never did/do girl things either, i shun make up, fashon, whats fashon? :lol: i get really annoyed about gossip, and i dont understand 'love life', 'dating', or 'going out'.

i found scouting was the bast place for me, but im now discovering friends at college, and one of them has got me involved with st. john, thats brilliant for me to. it might be a good idea to find out what youth groups are in your area, and another option is volenteering, i often fit in with volenteer groups too.

Re: Girl help?

Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:25 am

with most fashion im like eh, but chuck me in a gothic store and i go crazy and spend heaps of money.

aka, can't wait to go to harajuku in japan
can't wait
harajuku.jpg (40.54 KiB) Viewed 1144 times

Re: Girl help?

Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:40 pm

I'm in the exact same boat as you. It's a bit bizzare actually: it's like I'm reading a post that I wrote... :wink:

I'm pretty rubish at these things myself, but I can convey to you what others have told me: Hang in there. You'll find people who are like you. It doesn't nessacirly have to be girls... it can really be anyone!!!!! I personally tend to gravitate toward other intellectuals, some of whom have Asperger's themselves, as they tend to share intrests with me and tend to be more accepting. As my mum says: "You'll find your nitch!"

Good luck! :)

Re: Girl help?

Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:03 pm

some of whom have Asperger's themselves,
v Well I'v never been diagnosed with Aspergers so I have no idear wether I have it, but thatnks 4 the help anywho

Re: Girl help?

Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:20 pm

I don't have Asperger's either, just dyspraxia, but I find it comforting sometimes to know that my friends aren't "normal" (whatever that means... :wink: ) either...
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