Social Learning

Share any tips or ideas that you have which make living with dyspraxia easier.(Please start a new thread for each tip)

Social Learning

Postby James Brimer » Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:11 am

Anyone else find that in a social situation they refer to previous memories to work out what to do in the current sociol situation and copy what other people do??
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Re: Social Learning

Postby wadey » Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:14 am

yes I do that quite a lot. though I do mostly try to adviod social things as i find people confusing. do you find people confusing?
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Re: Social Learning

Postby abi » Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:33 am

im kind of like that, but sometimes, im too stressed to think clearly enough to do that. i do find people confusing.
the way i see it, dyspraxia is an extra hurdle in every race i run, but that extra hurdle, is just extra exercise, so in the end, i will come through stronger.
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Re: Social Learning

Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Thu Sep 30, 2010 1:26 pm

Yes, I think that is the best way to learn.
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Re: Social Learning

Postby Alice » Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:41 pm

Ouch, red on blue hurts my eyes. lol

Anyway, I find that previous situations aren't always enough. I top up my knowlage using body language books to learn too gauge people and getting feedback from friends who understand my problems about how I handle situations. I have recently bought a book on counciling in order to get some tips on letting people know I'm listening to them.

Apparently, most of the time people can no longer tell I'm not withing the normal range (all be it the slightly incompetent end) of social skills, providing I've prepared for such a situation. All I need to do now is get a grip on metephors, get a better pair of earplugs, and decreace my personal space, then everyone will think I am simply eccentric.
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Re: Social Learning

Postby James Brimer » Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:01 am

You have a sense of personal space????, I guess this is why the only friend I have happens to b aspergic, far easier to understand. Do we really need to rely on eye contact, personal space and body laungage? I also find socializing is generaly overrated, after all a friend is someone who you meet up to to exchange information, like information on latin, or astronomy. I much prefer to be on my own as I work more efficently and do not find sociolizing "recharging" I find it is exausting.

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Re: Social Learning

Postby Steph » Fri Oct 01, 2010 6:08 pm

Everybody has their own amount of personal space they need-it's not something you choose to have. The problem with most people with dyspraxia or autism is that they either need A LOT of personal space, more so than the average person, or they invade other peoples personal space. In the unit where I work, we have both ends of the spectrum. One of the girls I work with is severely autistic and likes to have a lot of personal space so as soon as someone sits down next to her, she will lash out at them, pinch, kick, slap or bite them-as you can imagine, this makes showering, dressing, undressing and toileting her very difficult as all of these tasks require somebody in her personal space which means that all the staff members get attacked pretty regularly. On the other end of the spectrum, one of the boys I work with invades others personal space all the time. He will kiss and hug people all the time, even strangers, and is constantly rubbing or stroking other peoples skin or trying to sit on peoples laps. Both of these students are autistic-their issues with personal space manifest themselves very differently but it's the same condition behind them.
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Re: Social Learning

Postby C » Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:08 pm

Yes I do. I think some people 'get' social situations easier than others and seem to naturally and intuitively know how to respond. Other people take a bit longer and have to almost consciously 'work out' what to do, perhaps by thinking about past situations and think that have worked.

I think this is common in Aspergers Syndrome as well as certain other conditions, but I also think it can be a variant of human pesonality. Some people are more sociable/confident/gregatious/know what they're doing in these situations than others.
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Re: Social Learning

Postby James Brimer » Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:19 pm

I like to think were the next step in evelutio b :mrgreen: after all, why devote times to socializing when you can set up data bases, translate latin, learn about the endocrine system, read the bible? :mrgreen: More time devoted to study=more brain use, more brain use=bigger brain over time.

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Re: Social Learning

Postby JamesStanley » Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:50 pm

I like how you think James i said something like that to one of my friends and he just said that socializing is normal and its better to have friends rather than knowledge. (Not his Exact words)
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Re: Social Learning

Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:22 pm

I don't think we're the "next step". I don't think we're beter than "normal" people. We have some very useful and interesting skills, but so do noraml people. A society needs people with a variety of different skills in order to function.
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Re: Social Learning

Postby pinksehenna » Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:57 pm

hey doesnt anyone find that like when theyre working in a group people giggle or make faces behind you back, maybe because you lost you pen, or you said something stupid. This happens all the time for me in Science class, and when Miss is asking a question, I say something blaitantly obvious and basic in knowledge, they all laugh at me? Giggle secretly.One person even called me something, Ive erased it, soz. One time this happened I broke down and cried, someone tried to cheer me up and said 'Thats Luke being Luke' and said' Well how come they were all laughing, sniggering in secret? Thinking Iwas a right dumb arse........ thinking why is she in top set? Plse help me, it really gets me down :(
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Re: Social Learning

Postby AnandaThePanda » Sun Oct 30, 2011 7:36 pm

Alice wrote:Ouch, red on blue hurts my eyes. lol

Anyway, I find that previous situations aren't always enough. I top up my knowlage using body language books to learn too gauge people and getting feedback from friends who understand my problems about how I handle situations. I have recently bought a book on counciling in order to get some tips on letting people know I'm listening to them.

Apparently, most of the time people can no longer tell I'm not withing the normal range (all be it the slightly incompetent end) of social skills, providing I've prepared for such a situation. All I need to do now is get a grip on metephors, get a better pair of earplugs, and decreace my personal space, then everyone will think I am simply eccentric.


Thank you so much for the tip of reading those books! I'd like to know how to act normally because although I am socially awkward I am determined.
Yes I do think of memories to help.
Don't worry, I say apparently obvious things too, even though I'm in high sets.
You just need to find friends who don't care whether you're clumsy and love you for it. Then you'll crave your friends company. But yeah with other people I guess you just have to litrally learn how to act. Don't worry guys, I'm in the same boat! But I heard that dyspraxic people are often loyal and determined :-) X x
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Re: Social Learning

Postby _robyn_ » Sun Oct 30, 2011 7:57 pm

I find social situations complicated. But I do like talking to my friends, I can only ever talk to one person at a time and I always think back on previous social chats when I'm talking so I don't make mistakes. Like misunderstanding what people are saying (which I do alot) and I never look at body language- too confusing.
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Re: Social Learning

Postby Liz » Sun Oct 30, 2011 8:27 pm

Like misunderstanding what people are saying (which I do alot) and I never look at body language- too confusing.

Yep. I also don't always get irony or a joke.
But I find the absence of body language confusing as well.. when I'm talking to somebody on the phone I frequently interrupt the person or it takes a lot of time for me to respond. I guess I appear to be quite rude :oops: even though I don't mean to be impolite.
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