I am a desperate mum?

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

I am a desperate mum?

Postby Paula » Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:36 pm

Hi

I hope i am not intruding, but i am a mum of a 19year old lad, who was diagnosed with dyspraxia at 6 years old, He has had such a struggle with his life, and has always been in denial of having dyspraxia up untill the last 2 years, when he now struggles severley with anxiety and is scared to do anything in his life as he thinks he will not be able to do it , this is effecting his life so badly i am just interested to know if there is anyone else out there that feels like this too...? 8) 8)
When he thinks he has to face up to real life he crumbles, he makes himself ill, He is one of the most friendly lads ever and he has a lot of friends even tho a lot of them take advantage of him?

Dont want to intrude on your web site being a mum, but i am thinking if there is other people feeling like this i may be able to get him to come on this web site?

Thanks for listening

Paula x
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Re: I am a desperate mum?

Postby wadey » Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:19 pm

your son is always welcome here, we all have different experinces with dyspraxia and we all help each other out.
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Re: I am a desperate mum?

Postby Steph » Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:06 pm

I agree-your son would always be welcome here. A lot of us on here, including me, have had our own struggles with anxiety so can empathise.
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Re: I am a desperate mum?

Postby parnassus » Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:07 pm

Paula, what you say about your son crumbling at the thought of real life is something I can definitely understand, as I've often felt the same way myself. For me the source of all my worry and upset was how overwhelming everything seemed. Even things like going to the supermarket on your own can feel frightening when you have dyspraxia (I'm still not totally comfortable dealing with shop staff on my own) and 'real life' seems to be made up of thousands of things like that, like one fiendish jigsaw puzzle that you'll never be able to complete. What helped me was to learn to take things one step at a time, instead of considering all my worries at once.

It's very difficult to get out of this panicky mindset. One thing that helped me was doing some voluntary work with a very supportive organisation. This allowed me to do something I found fun and develop skills in a friendly environment, with close supervision from a mentor. It also allowed me to make mistakes - and see that the world didn't come careening to a halt when I made them! Gradually I became more confident in my abilities, and this started to have an effect on other areas of my life as well. I am still more prone to anxiety than the average person, but I'm nowhere nearly as bad as I was.

One other thing: it will be very difficult for your son to learn to trust himself if he can't fully trust his friends. I think he needs to be with people who will be more supportive. Is there a DANDA social group in your area? That might be a good place for him to go to meet people who understand dyspraxia and who won't try to take advantage of him because of it. Internet forums like this one are also good places, especially if your son's anxiety makes meeting people in real life a bit difficult. My own social confidence improved quite a lot thanks to DT - the Internet can be a real help.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Re: I am a desperate mum?

Postby C » Sat Dec 10, 2011 5:39 pm

Hi,

Don't worry, you're not intruding. It's interesting I'm reading this topic now as my anxiety has been a bit worse recently. I was diagnosed with dyspraxia at six years old too and am now at University. My anxiety gets worse in crowded places and, although I'll admit that I have dyspraxia if it comes up in conversation sometimes I find it hard to talk about it with people. Why do you think your son is in denial about it?
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