dear diary,

Chat with others about dyspraxia and share your experiences.

Postby parnassus » Fri Dec 30, 2005 5:30 pm

Carebear, I think you should talk to someone whom you trust about this. How about a person from your church? They will help you to work out what to do next and where to go. You definitely need to go somewhere - you can't stay at home. The police should be told, too, but wait until you are living somewhere else.

I will pray for you.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Postby carebear15 » Wed Jan 04, 2006 12:06 am

7:03 pm 1-3-2006



Dear Diary,

Today i was watching saved by the bell and then i decided to go to sleep for a while and the strange thing that happen was that the people was in my dream. I got in trouble because i was climbing on everything and being so hyper and the teacher grabbed me and pick me up , and put me in time out for 20 minutes, and i was at school, this was a dream i had this morning, and That rold me that i needed to take my medicine.
Today was my mom's 48th birthday. I will be going to my doctor on next monday, I can't wait.
Last edited by carebear15 on Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:52 am

I agree with Vicky. You need to move out, whether your mum says you can or not. You may have a lot of practical difficulties if you live on your own, so I suggest you move in with another person. I think telling someone at your church would be a good idea. You have to go and live somewhere where you are safe.
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Postby carebear15 » Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:02 pm

11:56 am 1-4-2006



Dear Diary,


I had a good time today at the special school, I love working in the classes i help in, Today i started helping in another class also for 1 hour and the class is for ages 5-7 years old and most of the kids have autism, I had a fun time in there. There is also a boy in that class that has deafness and he wears hearing aids in both ears and they are so cool, he has a ear mold that has red,white,and blue. My job coach left for about a hour and I had a good time in the class, and i got comfortable in there. I didn't even think about my job coach was gone. It didn't matter that I was by myself. This is helping me. I love the kids at the special school. I help in 2 classes now on wednesday's.
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Postby carebear15 » Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:22 am

8:18 pm 1-9-2006



Dear Diary,

Today my friend picked me up at 4 something and we went to the library. I rented one book . The name of the book is called autism. I enjoyed being there. The library is so quiet. I looked at books. My friend took me home at 7 something tonight. I really had fum. It was nice to get out of the house.
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Tue Jan 10, 2006 8:47 am

I'm glad you're having a better time at the moment.
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Postby carebear15 » Wed Jan 11, 2006 3:43 pm

1-11-2006 10:38 am


Dear Diary,


Today i went to the special school and i helped in the class that is 5-7 years old. Most of the kids in the class are autistic but except 2 of the kids are not. One boy has hearing problems, developmentally delayed.
There is a girl in the class that has phyiscal problems. I had a good time there and I was told i was a big help. The teacher also thanked me for helping. I feel comfortable in the class. There is one boy that he knows how to write his name and know how to count to 10. That is so awesome that he can do all that. He also likes drawing circles.
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Postby parnassus » Thu Jan 12, 2006 6:46 pm

This school sounds like a lovely place. I'm glad that you get on so well with the kids.
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Postby carebear15 » Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:16 pm

7:55 am 1-14-2006



Dear Diary,


When the doctor had me squeeze her fingers harder and harder, I said ouch because it hurts to grip harder and harder , that hurt my hands. She said that it should not hurt me , it should hurt her. I had a complete physical and the doctor said i lost 31 pounds in a year and a half. I am right at 5'1 . I had my height checked and I was told I am 61 inches, I am very short. The doctor called me kiddo and that is what my special education teacher called me in high school kiddo, I like that. My doctor told my mom to check into seeing if the special school has a occupational therapy for my age group, And if they do, She will give my mom a prescription for that. I hope they do have occupational therapy for my age group. I didn't say anything to my doctor about dyspraxia, I was going to bring my book called My friend has dyspraxia but my mom said no to that. My mom wouldn't let me take the book in the doctor office. Where can I get help for getting tested to see where i am at with my gross and fine motor skills? How do you get tested for dyspraxia?
I did tell the doctor how i tense up with storms and I get upset with certain noises, I wear a hoodie when there is a storm. I hide in a closet when there is a storm, My mom told my doctor how i hid in places, And the doctor said that is called panic disorder, And that the medicine i am taking it is a good medicine for panic disorder. My doctor also recomended that i get ear plugs when there is noises that bother me or any storms there is. I first didn't understand what my doctor was saying when she was talking about panic disorder. My doctor told me that ihave panic disorder. I didn't know i still have panic attacks, I thought they stopped, but i was wrong i guess. I don't want this panic disorder, why do i have this, I hate panicking all the time, and have to go down stairs and figure out what to do, Go hide in the closet, or bathroom.
I do not like certain words and the doctor ask a question that she has to ask everyone this question. The question was Have you ever had sex? I think that is how she said that question and the first thing i said was ewww gross, she said that she has to ask this question. I told her I never had sex. That question made me feel uncomfortable. I don't like those kind of questions. I was told that first i have to get a pregancy test because it is the law and that is before i can get on birth control, and I will only have only 1 period every 3 months. I am now wondering if i take these pills would i end up getting fat or gainning weight, those questions keep running through my head, because i don't want to gain weight and I want to be small forever and I don't want to be fat.
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Postby C » Sat Jan 14, 2006 2:39 pm

Carebear, I have been reading your posts and I am horrified about what your family are doing to you.

Vicky, is right, you do need to tell someone you trust about your dad because he is physically and emotionally abusing you. I think you should get out of the situation and then tell the police because he has no right to treat you like this and get away with it.

I'm glad you are enjoying your time at the special school and I think you are so brave to have come through the things you've been through in your life.

if you ever need to talk to me, feel free to PM me. In the meantime, keep posting here, and you may find this website of some use:

www.childline.org.uk/childabuse

Take care,

Charlotte xxx
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Postby carebear15 » Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:55 pm

4-27-2006 12:44 pm


Dear Diary,

This happen at 10 something this morning. This happen when i was walking down the stairs.
My sister punch me in the leg. My sister also called me names and then when i went in the bathroom and they unlocked the door and i try to keep everyone out of the bathroom. I accidently smash my 17 year old brother's toe in the door.hen he got in the bathroom he hit me and threw stuff at me. I called my mom and told her what was going on. She told me to stay in my room. I was in tears. They said they thought i was calling the police, but i wasn't. They are lucky.
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Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:40 pm

*virtual hugs* You should tell someone about how bad things for you at home. Perhaps someone at your churh could help.
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Postby carebear15 » Fri May 26, 2006 9:51 pm

I have not been here for a while.
I am been having a hard time at home, my dad hit me in the face. He told me to not talk when he was talking. I just told him that i didn't turn all those lights on. I don't know what will happen but i did call my friend and she came to pick me up and my mom wouldn't let me leave. So it is a hard situation. Everybody said see what you did you put your friend in the middle of it. I don't want to put anyone in the middle of things. I am so sorry. My dad told my mom i didn't say anything and i did tell him that i didn't turn those lights on. a social worker is going to tell the case manager that is doing my paper work about what is going on now.
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Postby parnassus » Fri May 26, 2006 10:38 pm

Jar, you did the right thing when you phoned your friend. Don't let anybody tell you it was wrong. It was a good idea to get your friend's help and it shows you are a strong person who is learning to take care of herself. I hope your confidence continues to improve.

I hope the social worker can find you a safer place to live.

* Virtual hugs * I will pray for you specially.
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Re: dear diary,

Postby carebear15 » Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:25 pm

Dear Diary,
I know it is been years since i wrote bnut today i was waiting for a kid that was suppose to show up but never showed up that was not fun for me to find this out and I am a little disappointed. I got my room fixed up for him and I had plans.
I was so excited. I made a video of aj who i baby sit that has autism. He is a special kid and i notice he loves hugging me. I love him and his sister like they are my own kids but his sister can get on my nerves. I been thinking of hiring someone to help improve his communication skills so he can communicate more. I really care about him. One day i asked his mom what she going to do when he graduates and she said she was going to put him in a group home. that really hurts, if she don't want him, i can take him now. I just don't understand and the mom doesn't know how to handle a child with autism. she told school to ignore him which is sad. His father said he is not going to have him in a group home and he will have everything taken care of and he will take care of him. I like for aj to be at least semi independent. He is a special kid that i will never forget and i care so much for him. Aj is 11 years old. and has 11 more years left of school.
He graduates at age 22. I want the best for AJ. I like to go to the library today if i can that be very nice.
I need to get out of the house. It is boring at my house.
thanks for listening From Jennifer
4-17-2009
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