Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Share any tips or ideas that you have which make living with dyspraxia easier.(Please start a new thread for each tip)

Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Steph » Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:34 pm

I know I am not the only person on this board who has real difficulties in working out which behaviours are or aren't socially acceptable but I am hoping that someone who doesn't share my ASD can give me some pointers. I had a conversation with my boyfriend the other day and was very confused when he told me that I had made a social mistake during our meal out. I was searching in my handbag for my front door key (I ended up staying down there an extra night but, at the time, I thought I was heading back straight after dinner) in a restaurant with some people seated next to us. I emptied the entire contents of my handbag onto the table including the packet of the oral contraceptive I take. Now I saw nothing embarrassing about that at all but he told me it wasn't exactly the sort of thing to leave on a table for 15 minutes! I could not understand why but I got it eventually. I told him to just nudge me next time as I can't pick up all these little social rules. He also told me that sometimes I raise inappropriate conversation topics in groups. The incident he was referring to occurred on a train. I was talking to several fellow staff members from my workplace-we were comparing notes on students and I mentioned that I adored working with one particular student except when he decided to urinate on his bedroom floor early in the morning. Another girl then changed the subject. At the time, I didn't think anything of it but my boyfriend later told me that the reason she changed the topic was because people don't really like hearing about stuff like that. The trouble is I never realise that I am making these mistakes unless someone tells me which most people won't do out of a misplaced courtesy-I'd actually prefer it if they did tell me where I went wrong! So has anyone got any pointers?
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Creative » Sat Aug 29, 2009 9:54 pm

When I was younger I went through a phase of brushing my hair at the table when I was having a meal in a cafe or restaurant! This isn't socially acceptable!
Also I once had a small rucksack and I put sanitary towels in a small pocket and you could see them sticking out! :oops: I friend who unfortunately is a boy pointed this out to me! :oops:
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Steph » Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:05 pm

When I had first started my periods, I didn't have a schoolbag and used to carry around a huge plastic wallet instead. I kept my sanitary towels in a Barbie pencilcase that I had found at home but I realised how inappropriate this was when a boy in my class grabbed this pencilcase in a Geography lesson intending to borrow a pen and instead pulled out all these sanitary towels! Everybody started laughing and it was very embarrassing! :oops: The teacher was forced to give an impromptu PSHE lesson and explain how these natural processes are nothing to laugh at!
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Steph » Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:08 pm

I wish people would bring my attention to the social mistakes I make more though. It's only really my immediate family members and my boyfriend that do so and they are not always with me so I don't know what mistakes I make without them.
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Steph » Sat Aug 29, 2009 11:20 pm

I spoke to my boyfriend again just now. We got to talking about this topic and he admitted that sometimes I talk about the students I work with too much and, when he has steered the conversation in another direction, I end up talking about the students again. He also said that sometimes, when he is trying to have a conversation with me, I just carry on doing stuff on the laptop. I have told him I don't "get" subtle hints so he needs to be firm and clear with me and he says he will next time.
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Creative » Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:32 pm

Your boyfriend seems to understand your difficulties well Steph. I hope that when I have a boyfriend then he is as supportive and understanding as yours is!

I also hope that people will tell me if I do someting socially unacceptable but in a nice way.

I sometimes talk too loudly without realising particularly when I'm anxious or tired. I can't seem to help doing this but I do it a lot less often than I did when I was a teenager.
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Steph » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:06 pm

I also have problems with volume control. People always tell me I talk too loudly!
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Rosie-posie » Sun Aug 30, 2009 10:39 pm

yes i do that aswell especially with my family i dont realise how loud i am. My grandad used to do it aswell as he was hard of hearing we used to be in a cafe or pub and my grandma used to always tell him the whole place could here him.
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby kerrianne92 » Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:46 pm

I also have problems with volume control. People always tell me I talk too loudly!
I have that problem also, Especially if im excited about something I get really loud without meaning to. Also if im nervous or upset it can go the other way and I talk way to quicetly. Apparently I talk about really irrelevent and silly things, well says my mum,I used to have an obsesion with telling people that they shouldnt smoke and i knew all the side effects and what can happen if you do smoke. Apparently its not a good conversation topic when your talking to a bunch of smokers!
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby k9ruby » Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:25 pm

Quote:
I also have problems with volume control. People always tell me I talk too loudly!
I have that problem also, Especially if im excited about something I get really loud without meaning to. Also if im nervous or upset it can go the other way and I talk way to quicetly. Apparently I talk about really irrelevent and silly things, well says my mum,I used to have an obsesion with telling people that they shouldnt smoke and i knew all the side effects and what can happen if you do smoke. Apparently its not a good conversation topic when your talking to a bunch of smokers!


Ditto! :mrgreen:
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Macha » Wed Oct 07, 2009 4:25 pm

I find I don't get things sometimes. Like: Is it OK to blow your nose in public? I always get a weird feeling that it's not for some reason.
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Thirteen-thirty-seven » Wed Oct 07, 2009 4:26 pm

It is certainly better than dribbling snot.
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Alice » Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:49 pm

Macha wrote:I find I don't get things sometimes. Like: Is it OK to blow your nose in public? I always get a weird feeling that it's not for some reason.

I get that feeling too. Aparently it's fine in this country though (even if your as loud as me).
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby charity » Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:07 pm

after my braces came off i gto this retainer, that i have 2 wear exept 4 when i eat. what is wrong w/ putting on the table i wonder? ut it bothers other poeple. i dony relly get y.
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Re: Tips on socially acceptable behaviour

Postby Alice » Fri Dec 25, 2009 10:21 pm

charity wrote:after my braces came off i gto this retainer, that i have 2 wear exept 4 when i eat. what is wrong w/ putting on the table i wonder? ut it bothers other poeple. i dony relly get y.

It's kind of unhygenic to put it on the table for starters.

Also, if it looks anything like mine did, nobody wants to see a spit covered cross between a torture device and an invertebrate. If it doesn't look like mine, then just the spit covered part.
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