The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Share any tips or ideas that you have which make living with dyspraxia easier.(Please start a new thread for each tip)

The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby Bladen » Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:57 pm

Now this weird, its been going on for a while, but for some reason or another which I can't for the life of me describe, (if I could I'd probably have cracked it).
Well, for a while now, I want to do something but I just can't seem to find any motivation, I can't seem to force myself or drag myself to something, like bass practice, I'm in the deep end with a 50% chance of getting into the BTEC music course, I admit I HATE Rock School (a side line part of the course but now all my hopes are relying on passing this, an all or nothing gamble) I prefer the thoughts of "I'm in control of my every action, I can do what I want, whenever I want to any degree I want" These past few years I realise, its far from true.
Anything can happen and it seems I just can't find any motivation or ability to dedicate to something, I hear stories of flat in flat out practicing an dedication to a subject or certain thing I look at myself and I go "frown, how do they do it?" I know that's exactly it, dedication, self motivation.
But WHAT exactly are they, how do I get myself to be able to dedicate and focus on these important factors, I know they're important, its making nervous.
It feels like I'm out of control really, the thought bothers me somehow but I can't seem to express this into words, I can't figure out a way around it so I turn to you people, I know there are people here with far worse problems than me, but this is a last bet situation, I need to know these things and get my head working again.
Some people say its a teenager thing, an autistic thing, a stupid thing.
Me? No idea.
You tell me
What can I do?
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Postby parnassus » Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:07 pm

I understand what you mean. Motivating myself to work was a real problem for me during my final year of university, and now it affects the little tasks of daily living, such as washing up and doing my laundry. I get tired very easily and will often spend time just staring into space.

I think this is partly because I have had to cope with a lot of changes over the past year (living independently, for a start!) and for the first time in my life I have a proper job, which is much more demanding than anything I've ever done before. How much longer do you have left at college? I know that the closer I got to leaving school and later university, my motivation dropped and my anxiety steadily rose. I think it was because I freeze at the thought of change and having to make a new set of choices for myself. It's all so bewildering and daunting that I feel as though I'd rather not bother. This might be the reason why you're no longer so enthusiastic about the future, and why you're struggling to stay interested even in your current work. It's easy to get excited and optimistic bout the future while it's still a long way off. When it comes too close the enormity of it can paralyse you.

My advice would be to stop thinking about future choices for now - if you can. It will suck a lot of energy out of you. This is much easier said than done, but every time I start to obsess over the future and wonder how on earth I'm going to find the motivation for this plan and that plan when I can't even find the energy to change my quilt regularly, I bring myself back to reality with, "You're not at that point in time yet. Right now you're sitting on a bus, on your way to visit Danni, and this is all you need to think about." Keep bringing yourself gently back to the present in this way.

Take one small task and break it down into even smaller stages. At the moment, I'm daunted by the thought of all the washing up in there, so I have told myself that after finishing this post I'm going to wash all the cutlery and one plate. I know from experience that once I've done that small amount, the pressure to get it all done will ease off and I might be able to manage some more. Dedication is not about pushing yourself to do things that your brain is balking at. It's about recognising what you can cope with and working within your limitations. At the moment I'm not as well as I could be, so I have to pay special attention to this.

When I was at university, having somebody in the room with me helped me to get on with my work - a friend who wouldn't let me waste time on the computer and who would make sure that I didn't keep flitting from thing to thing without actually getting anything finished. It's much easier to get through your work if you've got someone in the same room as you. If you authorise the person to switch off the Internet and banish all other distractions until the work is done, the sense of being out of control will recede a little.

Finally, is the lack of motivation accompanied by anything else? Physical tiredness, inability to concentrate, poor sleep patterns? If so, how long has it been going on for? It could be something that you need to talk to your GP about.
"This above all, to thine own self be true." - Polonius, Hamlet.
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Postby Bladen » Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm

I got til May, that's when my Grade 1 exam is. I can't help but look forward to when things may or may not happen. When I'm here thinking about what to do and when to do it its all I can do to quicken the pace of time.

Another facotr is, I've no idea what my limits actually are, why I find some things harder than others and such. I like to know the reason for everything that I can/cannot do and I think that's what frustrates me a bit more. I mentioned the mindset that I like to have control over everything that happens, but it seems that the more I try to control and organise myself the more my limits spiral up and down.
I was told 10 minutes a day practice for my rock school stuff, fair enough "I'll get round to it when I can be bothered with it" problem is, I never actually can, when I do I can't get into practice. I've cut back on all these online games I play, I have a new amp downstairs where my sister can't bother me for being loud. I don't really understand why its come to this, that I can't manifest my desires into physical form, to get a routine going.
Usually I sit here bored waiting for people to come online, make the odd peak on sites I'm on. or just relax a bit and try to play some WoW (which I can't focus on either).
No idea, I used to be able to adapt just fine to adding things to my every day routine, I used to be able to read something to help, read a guide, practice a bit when i wanted to. But damn not anymore.

THough I have to admit the fact this my first time back in full time education since I left school in 2006, with random sleeping patterns bent to my desire to test my physical limits (June-September is a long time, easy to get bored).
I can't pinpoint why I seem to struggling slightly with one or 2 things and since its not a written thing there's nothing I can read up on, research or ask a parent (no one in my family is musical in the slighest) on what I can do to smooth things down.

I know I can pass the Rock School and my course, but I want it to go smoothly, calm, relaxed and not shakey enough to be put on the damn richter scale!!

Honestly, the things that have changed, the abilities I've gained and lost during the course are immense when I look back, but it seems that since I was told I had to improve to qualify for the BTEC and that my Rockschool was the key, a 10.0!!!

Bah... My poor keyboard has suffered from head whacking in frustration, because since playing an instrument isn't as mentally driven as my A Level work was, its quite hard, I have memorised a lot of music but it takes so damn long for my fingers to learn the information, mind boggling.
When I first picked up the bass guitar I never thought there'd be so much work for the eyes, the ears, fingers and brain to do, astounding! Self taught too, so I think Its going to be a case of going back to basics, unlearning and learning again and continuing to ask local musicians I know about advice for practicing, I got 6 weeks, to smooth the road to my exam out, the smoother it is, the less stress, more focus and more possibility I will pass will come.


All this from a single wake up call "You're Going To Need To Work On Your Sense Of Timing A Lot To Get Onto Next Year's Course" I've perceived it as, "Improve you're on".

So much thoughts past, present, future. So much speculation, so much energy gone to waste and fatigue. There's a first for everything and I have to say this is the first time in my life I remember feeling like this, because of that I can't describe it and I can't express it simply and fix it like its not a problem.
Though thinking a lot about what the problem is is probably going to cause me to backtrack again and again and again and again.
I think my head might explode, it just doesn't work with my realist go easy personality.

The thing that springs to mind is the word "Melancholy".
Doesn't help I'm getting bother about my driving lessons either, no one thinks I care and I'm simply taking it easy learning a bit by bit to reduce stress. (that and I recently had my toe nail removed so I got a get out of jail card til I can walk properly again and put pressure on my foot again).

So. I think that about sums it all up, once I post and re read I might feel better about "unloading". Though its probably very vague because as I'm typing this I can't remember for the life of me what I typed before...
Oh well, Wall Of Text HERE I COME! :wink:
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Postby Bladen » Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:07 pm

UPDATE: Another rought start to the day but for once it wasn't me doing the cock ups in the songs. I've told my lecturers what they can do to help me learn chords and rhythm to songs easier, since I can't remember spoken instructions too well, I've requested things to be written down afterwards for me to loearn that way.
One simple thing makes Life so much easier.
Still, got to figure out a plan to ninja practice in my day to day life, usually I'd leave it to the last minute and whore it out til my eyes bleed but it seems that its going to cause some lecturers to have heart attacks panicing about my odds of success. :lol:

So, its normal, small bits of practice every day or 2 with the CD and not what I'm used to with hours the night before the exam. (i did it last year and barely failed, it wasn't the fact I failed that got me down, it was how close it was to passing... 9% made a bit of a muck up on my scales which I know properly now, i can play with a standard metronome and also arpeggios.
The Improvised bassline and sight reading aspects are easier this time round but the main display is still the 3 pieces.
I've almost mastered one, partiallyu got the other 2 but I know I can do them, just need to hope for some good luck then.
If I worry about it, stress.
If I DON'T worry about it, immature attitude towards my work
there's no way to win is there... :roll:

Well, just hope some relaxing and return to unstressful casual learning styles can batter this road back into form.
Just hope tomorrow goes fine. Oh and for the hell of it, I HATE KEYSKILLS WITH A PASSION!
I can do the ICT work blindfolded but the Maths work is like speaking dutch in in China, USELESS.
I'm bad it yeah but I HAVE to do it. NOOOOES DAMMIT!
Atm I can't draw graphs my head goes blank and that's all I have left til the "exam".
Maths should die.
I'd do it myself if I knew how.
but no, I HAVE to do it.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS HERESY!?
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Postby Hermionefan5 » Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:40 pm

I have had the same kinds of problems with motivation. What I do is I try to tell someone--my mom for example--when I will be getting a certain piece of my writing done by so I may send it to her over e-mail and then I know I have someone who is sort of like a teacher, depending on me to make sure I turn things in on time.

I also, like Vicky said, try to limit my day to doing only a few things with breaks in between. I'll do writing for a while, maybe two hours at max, then I'll break and do a bit of reading or laundry if I need to. I find that because of my other condition if I do one thing too long my mind tends to wander needlessly and so I must be in constant motion in order to fend off the symptoms of my other condition. Sometimes I play my mom's guitar or play the piano, that sort of thing. Sometimes I go outside. The point is, I think it's good to promise yourself a few 20 or so minute breaks after you have worked on something a long time. Then you will be more motivated to work on it because you know you have a reward coming up. Having a person who relies on you for your work is even better because it keeps you forced to do whatever you are avoiding. I hope this helps!
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Postby Bladen » Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:51 pm

I've incorporated a few of these tips and so far so good! Thank you very much for your help. :)
You might know me one of these aliases:
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if not, well.
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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby Skinny3600 » Tue Mar 31, 2009 3:34 pm

if Your wanting motivation for practising bass guitar (especially self taught) i play electric guitar, and i just play songs i want to play from tab, and learn techniques as i go along you could try this approach, it will make playing the bass guitar more of a want then a have too, aslong as you makesure your having fun on it.
ps i. :> still cant nail Cliffs of dover though :< chords are my enemy :P i cant switch between them accuratley enough to save my life
10 months self taught :O
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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby Bladen » Wed Apr 01, 2009 10:06 am

Skinny3600 wrote:if Your wanting motivation for practising bass guitar (especially self taught) i play electric guitar, and i just play songs i want to play from tab, and learn techniques as i go along you could try this approach, it will make playing the bass guitar more of a want then a have too, aslong as you makesure your having fun on it.
ps i. :> still cant nail Cliffs of dover though :< chords are my enemy :P i cant switch between them accuratley enough to save my life
10 months self taught :O

Cliffs of Dover has nothing on Eruption, my friend can play both literally blindfolded.
I've been told if I can bass the course I'll be getting a Rickenbacker 4003 bass.
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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby Skinny3600 » Wed Apr 01, 2009 3:06 pm

Rickenbacker 4003 bass, dno what it is but sounds good
GOGOGOGO thats motivation! Uber new bass!
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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby Bladen » Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:22 am

Its similar to basses used by:
Andre 3000 of Outkast
Barry Adamson of Magazine
Michael Anthony - Van Halen
Frank Allen - The Searchers
Lou Barlow of Dinosaur Jr
Guy Berryman of Coldplay
Ron Blair - Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers
Michael Bradley of The Undertones
Cliff Burton of Metallica
Geezer Butler of Black Sabbath
B War of Marduk
Al Cisneros of Sleep and Om
Les Claypool of Primus
Jon Camp - Renaissance
Adam Clayton of U2
Tim Commerford of Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave
Stu Cook-Creedence Clearwater Revival
Sharlee D'Angelo of Arch Enemy
Paul D'Amour of Tool (formerly)
John Deacon of Queen
Robert DeLeo - Stone Temple Pilots/Army of Anyone
Joey DeMaio of Manowar
Matt Destruction of The Hives
Steve DiGiorgio of bands such as Sadus, Dark Hall & Testament
Dave Dreiwitz of Ween
John Entwistle of The Who
Howie Epstein - Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
Bruce Foxton of The Jam
Nikolai Fraiture of the Strokes
Roger Glover of Deep Purple
Glenn Hughes of Deep Purple
Martin Gordon of Sparks and Jet
Graham Gouldman of 10cc
Jamie Hornsmith of The Rakes
Mike Hindert of the Bravery
Chris Hillman-The Byrds
Bob Hardy of Franz Ferdinand
Haruko Haruhara of FLCL
Brian Helicopter of The Shapes
Rick James
Chris Joannou of Silverchair
Jesse F. Keeler of Death from Above 1979
Andy Kent of You Am I
Lemmy Kilmister of Motörhead
Grutle Kjellson of Enslaved
Greg Lake of King Crimson and Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Jack Lawrence of The Raconteurs
Geddy Lee of Rush
Russell Leetch of Editors
Phil Lynott - Thin Lizzy
Glen Matlock of the Sex Pistols
Paul McCartney of The Beatles & Wings
Mike Mills of R.E.M.
Gary "Mani" Mounfield of Former The Stone Roses
Nick O'Malley of the Arctic Monkeys
Benno Mengarelli Neon Rose
Mike Mesaros from the Smithereens
Derek "Mo" Moore of Nektar
Jerry Only of The Misfits
Fabio Pignatelli of Goblin
Steve Priest of Sweet
Peter Quaife of The Kinks
Jimmie Randall of Jo Jo Gunne
Scott Reeder of Kyuss
Chris Ross of Wolfmother
Michael Rutherford of Genesis
Timothy B Schmit of The Eagles
Jamie Reynolds of Klaxons
James Righton of Klaxons
Kira Roessler of Black Flag and Dos
Jeffrey Scott - Rare Blend
Paul Simonon of The Clash
Justin Small of Do Make Say Think
Derek Smalls - Spinal Tap
Chris Squire of Yes
Ed Stephens - Years Of Steel
Mark Stoermer of the Killers
John Taylor of Duran Duran
Toshiya of Dir en grey
Dean Turner of Magic Dirt
Fred Turner of Bachman Turner Overdrive
Roger Waters, Gilmour of Pink Floyd
Kieren Webster of The View
Jeordie White of Goon Moon
Brent Wilson formerly of Panic! At The Disco
Nicky Wire of Manic Street Preachers
Chris Wolstenholme of Muse

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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby Bladen » Mon May 04, 2009 2:55 am

Believe it nor not people but it just "happened" It seems like I wasn't doing anything wrong or right but that it just suddenly clicked.
Its like when I have to do something, like this for example; learn 3 pieces of music, meaning memorise the sequence of notes in the book, how they correspond to the backing track and replicate it.
I've managed to intake these things slowly but I figured out a way to make it easy and quick. Memorise the book, then make my fingers learn where to go and when so its like a reflex, memorise the song.
Now its like all these were in my head but in a jumbled jigsaw, it just took a while and several different approaches to put them all together in the correct place.

Pretty much I've woke up one day and suddenly I can do it, I can play all 3 pieces quite accurately and my teachers are gobsmacked as this has happened once before with the 12 bar blues improvisation, I came in and managed to play a what I was told "Professional Jazz Bass Player's Bassline" by the end of it.
I dunno what this is, how its happened or what's triggered it, but wow.
My brain is one dodgy little machine, its gave me so many worries and it suddenly pumps into hyperdrive to not only catch up but put me ahead of target for this.

Seriously, I want to know how its happened and how/if it will happen again, I've amazed myself.
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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby B3nny-1994 » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:27 pm

i get this all the time ever since i was 14 i dont do homework or cw i just cant get motivated enough and now im really suffering from it any tips? :(
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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby ashb1994 » Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:20 am

I have this problem to and I have no idea how to tackle it, with me the heavier the work load gets the more problems I have when im set a task at school im nearing the end of year 11 and am having to play catch up on my english lit coursework and i catch myself wonderin off task alot especially during my last english lesosn my teacher was sat right next to me and I just couldnt do what I was expected to be doing, before i knew it my pen was on the table and i was sat twiddling my finger while the other members of the group on the table around me were storming through the work.

This problem has landed me bottom of the class in various subjects including my best subject music (I'm also a bass player if I've got the right one working towards grade six) and I sit in every lesson on my timetable thinking I cant do this and there is a voice screaming 'why are you even sat here attempting this'. But im having the same trouble and havent got a clue what to do either
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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby award » Tue Apr 27, 2010 8:19 pm

i also find that sometimes i find motavating my self very hard and when im in the mindframe that i cna be botherd to do anything i cannot usally change that feeling.

Does anyone else find this?
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Re: The "I can't be a- bothered to do anything" scenar

Postby Axel » Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:37 pm

i really cant be bothered to do much, so i get banned from alot of things because i just wont do them (such as homowork i have to lie about :roll: ), every time i get a chore it takes me about a minute to get up and 3 bans.
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