Socially Rubbish

[comet94]

Hello, I'm new to the forum, and I'm really glad there somewhere where I can talk about Dyspraxia with people who actually understand it

Basically, recently I've started feeling really left out of my friendship group, and I don't know why they're outcasting me - although whether it's actually happening or not, it's still making me really self-consious and paranoid.

I read somewhere that dyspraxic people do have problems with being socialble in large groups, so I'm guessing this might be a part of it.

What I was wondering was: Whether the feelings that I'm having at the moment are normal, and whether there are any ways to improve my social skills/self-confidence.

Thanks,
comet94

[James Brimer]

I find that it is better to have a few friends who are "loyal". By this I mean " True to any person or persons to whom one owes fidelity, especially as a wife to her husband, lovers to each other, and friend to friend; constant; faithful to a cause or a principle -1913 Webster. So rather than (by this I mean no offence) struggling with group socializing (which I do) it is better to have a few friends who are actuary friends, not people who discard you for a more desirable personage. It also helps (I find, these disclaimes are probably getting boring by now ) if they understrand you properly, one of my friends (I now have ten, discluding family ) is Dyslexic so he understands the way I think.

Hope this Helps


Jamesb

[abi]

im like that too, i often think that people are excluding me, or hate me, even if there is evidence to the contrary. i think with me its because it has always been that evryone hates me, and now i have friends im not used to it, my friends generally understand when i explain. i think it is more important to have true friends than lots of friends, as i struggle with large groups too.
if you are feeling left out, organise something with many of them if you can handle it. i use sleepovers, where we just sit in the hot tub, and/or wacth films.

i found the only way to improve my skills is throwing myself in at the deep end (but this is how i learn best, so it might not be best for evryone) and asking a person who i have become close to, and spend a lot of time with to point out if i do something that is not really acceptable. many people have found it easier to improve gradually, by starting with 1 or 2 friends, then working up.
i joined scouting and st john ambulance, i found more acceptance there than i did at school. you might like to try joining a club.

[comet94]

Thank you to you both I do have some loyal friends who really understand it, so they understand why I do certain things etc.

I'll try and focus my time onto those friends more, as now I realise that they're worth my time alot more. Hopefully, then work my way up from there.

[Thirteen-thirty-seven]

You have already been given good advice, comet. I would add that it might make things easier if you spoke to your friends online as well, it is much easier than face-to-face.
I hope things get better for you.

[Alice]

I often feel that I am tolerated rather than liked by my friends and feel a constant need to admit my failings. Ironically, I think this is my most anoying habbit. If you don't feel you would judge someone for something they are probably not judging you for the same.

I don't know if that specifically is your problem though.